One More Chance?

Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 01:38 am
I will try to keep this brief as it spans across a time frame of 3 years now.

I met my ex online, we talked as friends originally, however things progressed. At the time I was told she was going through a divorce (shaky ground I know) and she said that she wanted to be in a relationship with me. She said that she's felt things with me she's never felt before. She has 2 kids with the other man and we had multiple HUGE talks about this. That was a big step for me, the thought of providing for someone else's kids (especially this guy, he's a real piece of work).

We continued to talk and we got closer and closer, and I truly fell in love with her, and I believe she fell in love with me. There was multiple times she broke away, didn't hear from her weeks, even months at a time. I was faithful and didn't talk to anyone else and always took her back understanding her situation. The last time this happened she promised me she realized the pain she was causing me and promised to never do it again.

Trusting her and trusting my love I moved across country for her, 1,200 miles to be exact. Upon my arrival to this new place I got a job, house and was preparing a life for her. I was here for about a year before I even got to meet her face to face, during that time whenever I would ask to meet up I would get the "busy" or "issues with ex" excuses. I continued to wait and we finally met and it was amazing. I finally felt like all the hardship and hard work and waiting and faithfulness I had put out had paid off. Things continued at the same pace, we met up 3 or 4 times over the next year, until one weekend about 3 months ago she broke things off because she decided it would be easier for her kids to have both parents and once again tried to repair the relationship with him. This had utterly crushed me. After begging her to work things out and take it slow after all this time (3 years) and me moving here I was denied and she didn't talk to me and removed me from all social media for 3 months.

I then received and still am receiving messages for her begging for me to give her one last chance to show that things are different this time and take her back. This is hard for me after being denied for another man, helping out with her kids during Christmas over and over again. She does have her own place now and a job, however I cannot get over the fact of how bad she hurt me. All of the effort she has done thus far as been for her and her kids, which is what she needed to do. However during that three months I've been talking and still am talking to someone else. My question is what should I do? Take back my ex or pursue a new avenue of opportunity? I feel resentment, anger, and guilt towards my ex. The latter being the worst because she's making me feel like I'm the one giving up because she is ready to "actually move forward" and now I don't feel that I am. I feel bad because I do truly love her, and I feel she does love me. But what is the limit? When is it enough? And was I really supposed to wait another 3 or so months in the dark after waiting this whole time?

Any response will be greatly appreciated, please help. Thank you so much in advance...

URL: http://able2know.org/post/ask/relationships/
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Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 07:36 am
If I understand what you wrote, you met her online and started a long distance relationship. And then, without having ever met her in person and experiencing prolonged periods where you would not hear from her, you pack up and move 1200 miles to be near her. And even then, you did not meet her face to face for about a year. (WHY?) She was in the process of divorce (according to her) when you first started talking, but then nearly 2 1/2 years later, if I have the time frame right, (long divorce process I guess) after you had moved close, she decides to try to make things work with her ex and basically dumps you for 3 months. And now she wants to re-connect?

If this sums things up, I think if I were you I would politely tell her to stop contacting me and move forward with the new woman with whom you are currently talking. She probably needs to take a step back and get her own life in order. At least that is what it sounds like to me.

Good luck to you.
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Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 10:03 am
How many times have you met this woman - in total?


Based on what I can make out, you've never been in an actual relationship with her. It was some kind of online flirtation that never made it to life together.
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Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 10:20 am
cityboy92 wrote:
providing for someone else's kids

I hope you never did this.
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