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Tue 29 Dec, 2015 12:18 pm
I will make this question as detailed as possible, so it's going to be a long story.
I met this girl online (penpal-site) about 7 months ago. We had so much in common so we started talking. We also live pretty close to each other (not even an hour away). We talked almost every day for the following 3-4 months (all communication was through this penpal-site). We hadn't actually met each other, mainly because she had a boyfriend.
But eventually she broke up with her boyfriend. By this time I already really liked her. I wanted to be a good friend for her and support her. Asking her out immediately wouldn't be right. From this point she started talking to me a lot (facebook, text, penpal-site...), which I didn't mind at all. It actually made my day!
Some weeks pass and I find out she likes someone from England (forgot to mention: we're from Belgium). He's a singer in a band. The guy's is a jerk and she knows it. When I ask her about it, she responded with: "blind love, I guess". At this point, I couldn't hold myself from telling her how I felt. I didn't tell her I loved her. I told her that I cared for her, that I wanted her to be happy and that I would be the happiest guy if I could be the one to make her happy, if this could be more than just a good friendship. That resulted in a week of silence between us.
Eventually I texted her, asking if we still could be friends. She agreed to his, telling me that we get along so well. She did let me know that it scares her when people say things like that to her. It was a bit awkward the first days, as I expected. But we had plans to go to a concert and this would be the first time we would actually meet (we had met one time before, but that was very brief during a festival). To my surprise she still wanted to go the concert with me, but it was eventually cancelled due to her being sick.
After that we kept talking, but less frequently. I started to notice small things: she stopped liking my instagram posts, she stopped liking my events on facebook. These are things that are not worth worrying about, but you still notice them...
By now, it's a month before finals (for her and me). Communication has dropped to the minimum. I asked her if something was wrong, but she responded with: "just been busy". Since then she didn't really initiate contact. When I started a conversation, it was over after a few replies. She didn't seem to be interested anymore.
(Sidenote, I'm pretty sure the English guy was just a crush, he's out of the picture)
The weird thing is, we still send snapchats to each other. I'm even trying to figure out if there's a meaning behind those snaps... The last one was a video with two toddlers playing. She's also send two snaps with her and her friends (girls).
That's the whole story. If there are still questions, ask me.
But what I want to know is: Am I over-thinking this? Does she like me? Has she lost interest? ...?
@marisy,
1. you're not dating
2. this
marisy wrote: At this point, I couldn't hold myself from telling her how I felt. I didn't tell her I loved her. I told her that I cared for her, that I wanted her to be happy and that I would be the happiest guy if I could be the one to make her happy, if this could be more than just a good friendship. That resulted in a week of silence between us.
is weird when you haven't met someone yet. It just is. Consider it a lesson learned. Don't tell someone about caring for them when you haven't met. It's weird, it's kind of creepy for some people. Don't do it.
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It's hard to tell if she was just weirded out by you, or if she's simply lost interest over the months.
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let it go. if she's interested, she may reinitiate contact.
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Meet people locally, do things locally, move on. Hopefully you'll have learned something from this experience.