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Boyfriend is caught by police!!! Best friend is in serious trouble!!!

 
 
Aluaa
 
Reply Tue 29 Dec, 2015 06:56 am
My best friend and her boyfriend have been dating secretly for a while. They met up at a park one day and her dad drove by and saw them hugging. For some reason he thought she was being assaulted by some kind of pedophile and stopped the car ,went up to her boyfriend tackled him and called the police. At the police station my friend and her boyfriend had to confess to the police and her dad that they were dating and that they had text messages to prove it. Her parents are very, very strict when it comes to dating, even though she and her boyfriend are both 16. She called me in a hurry sounding really stressed, and only told me the part that her dad saw her hugging him. I got all this information from her boyfriend when I asked him if they were ok and he also told me that nothing bad happened after he was proven innocent and that he was ok. I have a strong feeling that her parents took her phone away and turned it off, because her boyfriend and I can't contact her in any way and are both really worried about what is going to happen to her. Half an hour after she franticly called me to tell me about what happened, she texted me saying if I'm going to a an event our parents have planned for the day after the next day. I said that I had no idea about that event but I can go regardless. However, after I asked for the address, she didn't reply, and she hasn't replied since, its been 24 hours and I'm suspecting that her parents took her phone away and turned it off. I did get the information of where the place of the event was and when the group was going. We've been very close friends for the past 2 years, but I'm not sure if I should interfere and meet up with her at the gathering because, selfishly, I don't want to get involved and get in trouble and never wanted to ever since she started secretly dating him. I need to comfort her though because she's my best friend. I'm not sure of what I should do. Someone please give me an answer ASAP because I'm in desperate d of advice, I need to make a decision of whether I should meet up with her or not in the next few hours. Please help.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Dec, 2015 07:51 am
@Aluaa,
It is not clear what this event is. So it is difficult to advise. Is it something open to the public? Would you be going with some other friends or family? If then I would say go ahead -- if it is a situation where it would be normal to go up and talk to her during this event go ahead and do so. You wouldn't necessarily be getting in the middle if it were a situation like that.

My guess is yes - she probably got her phone taken away for disobeying her parents. She is a minor and whether fair or not, her parents set the rules. This may not be a bad thing for your friend - it may open communications between her and her parents regarding them being overly strict so that should give you some comfort. This is really between her and her parents.

But being a close friend you can comfort her. Maybe just leave her a message saying you are there for her - even if she doesn't get it now, she will eventually. I am also guessing you two go to school together - school will be back in another week or less so you can always talk to her then. Be more a comfort and listener to her.

It is tough now perhaps, but she is just two years from being 18 and I am guessing going off to college or some other young adult venture to growing up. So as bad as it seems now -- this serious trouble will not seem so serious in a few years.
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Dec, 2015 08:29 am
@Aluaa,
First of all, what country are you in? I would assume this is the US... but I am not sure. Tthe US culture is the only one I can definitively answer for.

I am not sure what you are afraid of. You friend needs a best friend right now. For you to meet with her, to listen to her, or even to help her contact her boyfriend is not illegal and there is nothing that her crazy parents can do to you. I don't think you are putting yourself in any real risk. You have to be careful that you aren't going to make things worse for her... if there are drugs, or something going on other than just strict parents, then you wouldn't want to support her. But, there is no harm in listening to what she has to say... and she needs a friend no matter what is going on.

I would certainly meet with my friend in this situation, and I would listen to what she has to say. And, unless there was something illegal or dangerous... I would probably help her contact her boyfriend or to get what she needs.

If the parents are being abusive, there are things that a 16 year old can do. You might consider having her talk to a school counselor or finding some adult you can trust who will help her with her parents. In most places in the US there are family services agencies that will do the right thing.


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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 29 Dec, 2015 09:18 am
@Aluaa,
Get your parents involved.

You're in over your head. Is it a big problem? Is it drama? Is it a danger?

Your folks might know your friend's parents socially and might have a different perspective on things. Remember, you're only hearing one side of it. But either way, getting involved could be a problem for you if your friend's parents turn on you - or it could end up as a problem for your friend.
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