I guess I'm sexually straight but, emotionally/romantically lesbian.

This has been confusing me for a while now. Im not even sure if this is possible but I think I'm sexually attracted to men yet, emotionally/ romantically attracted to women. I could never see myself in a relationship with a guy nor have I ever been in one. I've been dating women for years now. During sex i dont orgasm. Its not satisfying unless my partner is penetrating me very rough. I like rough sex. I like to be handled. And most women I date don't understand that. They don't meet my needs.
Im only 21 years old and I feel embarrassed because I just can't figure this out. I just want to know if anyone else is going through this or if I'm going a phase. Thanks