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Mon 7 Dec, 2015 11:06 pm
there was this guy that I was basically just ******* around with last year, neither of us wanted anything serious, so we just enjoyed each other. as time went on, I wanted more than just a **** buddy title. he had commitment issues and, although I respected the fact that he did not want a relationship, I told him that I did after about a year of ******* around with each other. i found someone and dated for about 9mo.
I told him about how I felt and that I had feelings for him and want more than to be friends. he understood, still telling me that he is still hesitant about being in a relationship and all that jazz. about a wee or so ago, he told me that he was sort of talking to someone. today, he told me that he and this girl that he was talking to are dating, nothing serious, just kind of feeling it out to see if it'll work (his words). although I am happy to see him moving forward and getting over his fear, I can't help but feel a little heart broken. yes, I wanted him, he was perfect in my eyes.
do i have the right to feel like this? he was never mine and i even went off and dated someone else when i couldn't keep waiting around for him to decide if he wanted more with me.
@Btafoya,
I'm going to say the magic words that have been buzzing around for some years and these words you need to digest "he's just not that into you".
Nothing wrong with you. It could be him. As a woman I sure you know of a guy(s) who likes you, but you don't like him that much even though he might be a great guy. Same for guys. Different strokes for different folks.
I know you just have a **** buddy relationship with this guy but I ask why. You deserve a guy who's not going to want this type of relationship with you. And if he wants this type of relationship from the start then he will probably most never turn into a real relationship. This man is immature and the commitment issues you speak of are just an excuse you are telling yourself. Maybe now you want him because you see him as a challenge. You want to change him to validate what you two had. Find yourself a man that is deserving of you. You deserve a man who will treat you like a queen.
@danielle35,
thank you for this insight, I really did need to see and hear it. it does take a little weight off my shoulders knowing that I am just chasing the wind and that it's my decision to stop. I think, for me, there's always going to be those 'what if's' that I can't stand to live with, those 'what could we have been if,,,' kind of thoughts that really make things difficult. I am the kind of person that holds on to words, I know that doesn't work, but I do. he really made it seem like we had a connection that does not come along often, not just sexually. it seemed like a 'wrong place wrong time' kind of issue when we first started talking considering that we had both had recently gotten out of long term relationships. perhaps I was just a place holder for him.
again, thank you for your response, I appreciate it.
@Btafoya,
We have all been there, I'm positive all the ladies on here will agree to the .... "what if's"....holding on thinking it will work, staying hoping it gets better but it never does and I will admit I've been through this plenty of times. Enough times to be confident in telling you it will only exhaust you and take away precious time from your life. I'm glad you will move on and I'm happy to help.
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