Men and Women

Men and Women
Ok this is a life question... its one of those questions that never have an answer but here i go.... lol
Well my question is, why do men say that women are so hard to understand? I mean like my boyfriend says that all women are hard to understand and i said "what other women have you been trying to understand?" and he said hes not and he said i wouldn't understand... its a guy thing but thats besides the point. Some one tell me!!! Why are we sooo hard to under stand i just don't get it. Why?
will some one please tell me?!!!!!!!!!?¿¿¿¿¿

~*~just don't get it~*~[/quote]

Not a guy thing or a woman thing. It's simply a matter of you are just not in their head. You are not psychic. This is why communication in relationships is absolutely necessary

Men and women are trained from birth to fulfill different roles in society, so, in a manner of speaking, we do think differently.

A possible reason why women are reputed to have a greater understanding of the male than they have of us is that, when they are in our company, they do tend to dwell upon a single topic to a significant degree.

Ya mean like speaking to yer boobs as opposed to speaking to you?


I don't find it difficult to understand women, but then, i was raised around them, and for about the first forty years of my life, devoted no energy to making the effort. Thereafter, when it began to matter to me, i didn't seem to have much trouble . . .

Quite so, Setanta.

I don't think it depends on the sex of the person, more the nature of the person. Some people are all cryptic and weird, others arent.

Sentana, are you a guy?

If you are I think you must be lying.

I think EFFORT is the operative word, though, and it does in fact make things much easier.

But just when you think you know what's going on...

Setanta. You are a God!!!

But why are you holding out on us? Come on. Please explain...

Here are a few things I would like to understand...

1) Why do you need so many shoes?

2) When should a man lie?

Sometimes women want you to lie ("Do I look fat in this dress") in fact a man can get into trouble for telling the truth. But there are always new situations that come up when I am not sure.

With men I just always tell the truth or don't say anything at all. But if a man asks a question, the true answer will never cause a problem.

3) When a woman tells you about a problem, often they don't want a solution. I have learned that sometimes, even when I am sure what that correct solution to her problem is, I need to just keep my mouth shut and listen.

But other times, this approach causes problems (weren't you listening?!?!).

How does a man know the difference?

I still don't understand when a woman is asking for input, and when she just wants an understanding ear. Men are simple. If I tell you a problem I am having, I am telling you for a reason. I want your input and advice.

4) When should a man offer a woman help?

At work we have a water bubbler with those big 5 gallon containers. True story, one day a co-worker was about to lift one of these containers. Without thinking, I offered to help and she was very offended at my sexist assumption that she couldn't do it. A few weeks later, another co-workered muttered under her breath because I didn't help a woman replace the same bottle.

5) Why can't women remember to put the toilet seat back up?

Ok well hi there ebrown_p well ill try to help you out here a little bit .... question 1. Why do we have so many shoes you ask? Well its becasue we love to shop for one thing (expecially when your using someone elses money) and since we have alot of clothes we need a pair of shoe to match every outfit. Moving on to question 2. Well you ask when should a man lie. Well almost never. Never lie about your relationship with her but the only thing you can lie about is like when she asks you if somthing makes her look bad or if shes fat.
Question three .... oh come on this is an easy one.... when it sounds like shes asking you a question then answer but if she just keeps talking just agree with her. When should a man offer help you ask ? Well you can ask anytime you want to she just might say that shes fine and doesnt need the help but when she does say thats ok just say no really .... i want to help (even if you don). If you do that youll be up there just a little higher on her list. OK last question you ask Why can't women remember to put the toilet seat back up? Ok well men are suppose to remember to put it down so we're not doing anything wrong. Its simple men are showing that they respect the women by remembering to put the seat back down. ooook? ok. Well i hope i helped you out.
~*~amanda~*~

Thanks loveable... but I still don't understand.

1. The things I love most, I only need one of. My my car, my computer, and of course most important my wife.

2. I don't think you are telling the truth. The truth has gotten me in trouble more times than "almost never".

Women just seem to instinctively know when a social lie is called for. Go through the day, and see how many times you lie (i.e. shade the truth) with your female friends. I (and I think many men are with me on this) just never seem to be able to know when a lie is called for, and when we should tell the truth.

It not just the "makes one look fat" thing. There are plenty of other examples including what I think of a certain overbearing family member of hers.

3. No way is this an easy one. I have been working on the answer for this one for years. I understand relativity and can solve complex equations in quantum physics. This question is not easy.

My experience has shown that at times, even offering help can get you in trouble.

As far as "when it sounds like shes asking you a question"... this doesn't help. I can never tell.

Women always ask questions that just could be rhetorical. My wife will tell me a story about a co-worker and say "What the hell am I suppose to do?". If a man asks this, he is asking "What should I do?". But what a woman is really asking is something like "Tell me that my problem is a really bad problem".

When my wife asked this I my manly instincts want to answer the questions as asked and offer a brilliant 3 point plan that will solve her conflict and several other possible concerns as well.

I have learned to stifle this reflex and answer something like "Nothing dear. There is nothing you can do". My current theory is that somehow this is interpreted as "Yes dear, I accept that this is upsetting you and acknowledge that this is a problem."

Men want solutions. Empathy doesn't solve problems. I don't fully understand why, but this kind of answer which offers no solutions and doesn't even really answer the question makes women feel better.

However there is a subtle distinction between when this type of non-solution empathy is called for, and where a real answer is being requested. That I at times still get in trouble means I am not near mastering it.

Many men choose the safe route... we have learned to stifle offering solutions and now are trained to give the types of answers that seem to keep us out of trouble. This doesn't mean we understand-- we don't.

4) Why can't women show they respect the men? This seems to be one sided.

hi
that's good question you are asking why do we men say we don't understand you women and the answer is not very complicated it's because we don't understand you
ok i think that men and women motives are the same but women reactions are different to men's and actually women are so good tactically that they can overwhelm men in this scale while men are supeior strategically
what does this mean? it means that men can put long term plans well and excute them patiently and see the whole picture form above while women can put short term plans and find solutios very fast that this is really the most thing i wonder in my life and i just want to understand how can women find good solutions that fast that they can even beat the devil in speed in this i guess and these different aprroaches make lots of funny situations arise
there is a psychological theory called (psychological needs) that says that human psychological needs are four primary:
1- the feel of safety
2- the feel of love
3- the feel of being appreciated
4-renewing
i think differences are mainly in two things
1-the priority degree of each of these in women and men
2- the way each of them handle these needs
starting with my self as a man i think thes are arranged in priority like that
3,2,1,4
i think to women they are 1,2,4,3 and i hope to be informed about if this is really right.