Fri 4 Dec, 2015 10:06 am
Strange how the emotions work, sometimes in ways that appear immature. Saw a recent picture of my ex-girlfriend. She's gained weight, her hair and eyes look dead, and the way she's grasping her fingers together reminds me of when she would suffer from extreme anxiety. Since she ended our relationship, I have bulked up in the gym, my hair has gotten thicker, and I am more relaxed, healthy and productive. My depression is a come-and-go thing that I try to solve with lots of exercise and activities. I know it is immature to feel this way, but her looking not-so-good made me feel better about how things turned out.
I don't think it's "immature" to think that way. It's natural.
My psychology professor once told me that it makes for mental health to be able to see the flaws in the unattainable. It sound like your inner self is telling you that you are over her, and maybe that you had a lucky escape. This is good. No need to feel guilty.
@Tes yeux noirs,
I also think it is natural, not something to feel guilty about, but probably not something to crow about either.
It's good that you're finally all better.
You shouldn't feel guilty. It's natural to feel satisfied after the breakup you went through. You said she was the one who left so I'm assuming that it was harder for you. to feel content after seeing her recent photo only tells that you are finally free and had moved on. Let's just say that after the breakup you just had the better way of coping up with the heartache that's why you're all better. However, I urge you not to gloat, karma is a powerful thing. Just be happy for her and thank God that you are finally okay.
Perhaps you are relieved that you dodged a bullet.
I agree, I dodged (yet another) bullet. Someone had written on an earlier post of mine that my ex-gf was filling a void in her soul with me. I think that is true. I was dealing with too many of her issues...her issues with her colleagues, her issues with her family, her issues with my family, and finally her issues with me (namely, the fact that she would not tolerate that I was close to my family). I'm neither happy nor sad for her: it took awhile, but finally, I just don't care. Life is too short to deal with someone else's poop.
However, I urge you not to gloat, karma is a powerful thing. Just be happy for her finally okay.
Thank you, but I think that this last piece of advice is partially "candy-coated." To hate someone would be bad karma. Gloating is human, but too much of it would be immature and a waste of energy. To "be happy for her" on general terms seems rather silly--happy for what? Happy that she broke my heart and that I was depressed for months and months? And, let's be honest: I still think about her, but have put the whole episode in proper perspective. I think if there is anyone for whom I should be happy that person would be me: the long and the short of it is this: I should be happy that I dodged a bullet; happy that I did not end up with someone who was incapable of accepting me for who I am. I think I might have met a woman who is a bit more mature and with whom I might enjoy conversation and attending social events--music events and such. That also makes me happy...for me.
Something happened today that added to the emotional healing. I went to a department store to return some Christmas items. While I was at the cashier, I heard a familiar footstep and looked up to see the back and side of my ex-gf walking by. She had dyed her hair darker, but the clothing and her forehead were very familiar to me in the momentary glimpse. I saw her walk out the front door of the store. I somehow think she had seen me; but for confirmation of that...when I walked out of the front of the store and walked straight to my car, guess who I could see standing off to the side of the entrance concealed by a shrub?? The ex-gf. She was standing there, staring straight at me as I was walking away from the store towards my car. I got in the car and pulled out. I could see her return to the store. Strange, huh? Again, it kind of made me feel better, knowing that she must regret her decision or be sad about it (or both)...why else do what she did? If she didn't want to see me, she never had to even make her presence known as I was unaware of it up to that point.