update...what to do?

What are you waiting for? A month is more than enough time. Seriously, it's not being unselfish to just move on. This guy isn't interested, from what I can see. I think he's paying lip service to you, trying to let you down easy. I strongly suspect that if you stop contacting him, he will not take the initiative to contact you. Let it go. This sitting around and waiting for him to make things happen is beneath you.

i called and asked to meet tonight and he agreed...and his voice didnt sound so upset on the phone...either its a good thing, and he wants to make things work, or its a bad thing and he's over me and gunna tell me to move on in person...wish me luck!!!!!

well we met, and i gave him the letter, and so now he's going to think things over...ive been doing alot of praying as it is out my hands now.

he was off yest so i figured that would give him plenty of time to think and would probably call me that night...no call last night...is that a bad sign?

I think it's a sign that he had other things to do. I mean, is there a time limit here? Be patient! :-D

well he FINALLY called last night! (he waited 5 days!!) and at first he kept saying, i dont know, i dont think it can work...but then we started talking a bit, and then he started saying how he has strong feelings for me, and when i asked him if his decision is what he really wanted, he just kinda whispered 'i dont know.' so he asked for more time, b/c if we do this, he wants to be in it 110%. heres the most rediculous part: remember how he's a cop? well, he told me that he keeps having this dream that he's being shot, and he really thinks something might happen to him, and he doesnt want me to have to go through something like that....so I cant figure out if thats him being melodramatic, or a REALLY bad excuse! he also brought up how he had recently gotten out of a 3 yr relationship before we started dating and maybe he just wasnt ready for everything again...so i think those are the two things holding him back.....but he really got my hopes up last night...we were talking and laughing like we always do, and this was by far the most positive time we've talked...i really thought he might have just said right then and there that he wanted to work things out...he kept saying how he misses me and wishes he could see me. he really got my hopes up...so now im waiting more....ughhh!

an update since the phone call:last night (2 days after our phone convo), i asked him if he wanted to get together, and he agreed. we went to a shopping district w/ a pond, got a bite to eat, walked around...then i asked if we should go back to his house and watch tv...he said no b/c he didnt want to do something that would put us in an akward situation, or something that he wants now, but in the morning might regret...and he didnt want to hurt me. i took that as a pretty bad sign...but later he started telling me how im so sweet, such a nice girl, how good i look, how bad he wants to do stuff and he really has to hold back, etc etc. of course, our situation came up too: he says the two things holding him back are 1. he got out of a 3 yr relationship before me not too long ago and has really neglected himself 2. there's an age difference between us...as i am in college, and he's out working...anyhow, when we got to my car, he asked for a hug, and it was so long, and close, and we both were practically shaking...he tried to kiss me, but i stopped him...so i got in my car, but then i got back out and kissed him. i joked around that he should drive safe b/c there were a lot of police out that night (he's a cop)...10 mins later he called laughing that he got pulled over!! then around 1:30, he texted me saying 'thanks for a good night'...he never does that. this guy is so back and forth...what am i supposed to think? do i text him today (i mean, i have a good excuse since he texted me this morning...) any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Sounds like he's a pretty smart guy. Just out of a three year relationship - and he knows that he needs to take it easy - not rush into anything. If you're into being the rebound person, enjoy it - be casual about it. Don't expect too much for the long term.

i dont think im a rebound, considering we dated for 6 months and we spoke about moving in and engagement in the future.

thanks so much for everyone's advice...yesterday, we ended up texting the whole day:

1 am: he texts, thanx for a good nite
12 pm: i text, looks like from ur message you got to bed late...hope BB didnt wake u too early! glad you had a good time, so did i
4 pm: i text, i got my parking for next semester
4 pm: he texts, sweet!
4:30 pm: he texts, so how u doin?
5:30 pm: i text, haha good thanx, whats up? how are u?
5:30 pm: he texts, a lot is up! <----------------------(sexually)
6 pm: i text, haha o jeez mike
10 pm: i text, keep thinkin bout our hug last nite...wat u doin?
10 pm: he texts, the one where u were grinding me, just reading
11 pm: i text, actually no, the one where our foreheads were together and u had ur eyes closed...nice.
11:30 pm: he texts, that was so beautiful and erotic
12: he texts, id like to do that again
12:30 am: i text, me too

notice how almost everything he says is sexual? i think im making progress w/ this back and forth communication, but im scared its for the wrong reasons. granted we had a very sexual relationship, and we are both very hormone driven, lol, we had more than that, and if we get back together i want more than that again. if i see him, and we do have sex, or even just hook up, do u think id be making a big mistake? but his last text was how he liked the more "toned down" hug...and THATS the one he wants again...what do u gather from all this?

He only said he liked it after you brought it up...

What I glean from all of this is that while you've been together 6 months, you're still the rebound relationship -- he realizes that, and thinks that as a relationship, it doesn't have the right kind of basis to make it work.

However, he likes having sex with you, and will do so if he can. Not surprising. If that's fine with you -- sex, no strings -- go for it. If you think it's a step on the way to having a real relationship, I think you'll be disappointed.

Good luck.

i was talkin to a gf bout this: if he just wanted sex, he doesnt have to get it from me, i mean he's good looking, and there are plenty of women that want to jump officer's bones (called budge bunnies) and they dont have any strings attached. so she thinks that he cares about me, and is just horny as well (****, so am i!)

my texts today (have been confusing!)

me: morning! havin my usual breakfast at work- diet coke and peanut m&ms...pretty gross lol. random question for ya...did u tell ur mom wen we broke up? wat did she say?
him: nothing really. my business.
me: wow sorry...u asked me the other day aobut my parents and it just got me wonderin. is everything ok?
him: yeah didnt mean anything by it...sorry
me: ok have a good day
him: anything u wanted to discuss?
me: no nothing in particular...im just glad we've been able to talk these past couple days...its nice.
him: yes it is.

hmmm so....he likes TALKING to me too...maybe he's not just in it for sex....?

Amanda, if all you say is accurate, he's not for you. Never chase after a man. It's not only bad form, but he'll never really respect you.

Ignore him and see what happens. Either he'll come around or he has someone else or doesn't want any relationship at this time.

Remember, officer isn't the only man in the world.

Good luck

Amanda, I read through the text messages from Thursday, and I think you're reading WAY too much into his words. The first time he was horny. The second time, he was polite and detached. Nothing more.

I think you may be hearing what you want to hear, not what he is actually saying.

Sorry. AngryWaves is right, don't chase him...he won't respect you. He's made it very plain that he's not ready for a serious relationship. I wouldn't expect anything more than sex from him. If you want more than that, I'd look elsewhere.

What Angry Waves and Eva said ... you will never know how he feels if you keep chasing him!