I think my husband cheated

Ok so here's my story ... I really am lost here.i ve known my husband for almost 16 years.. I m 32 he's 43... we have 3 kids together. We had lots of ups and downs but somehow we managed so walk through it all. But somewhere in the middle I lost my feelings for him but I knew that I love him and always will... recently some months ago things became great ..I started loving him like I used to when we first got married .. we became very close. I m not a typical wife . We r kinky in bed .. he loves porn and I never objected ..he likes to talk abt other women or fantasize about them an while we have sex and I always got comfy with that too. But I never suspected him for cheating as he spend all his time with me n kids. But 3 weeks ago he went out with friends (and let me mention his friends all married go to massage parlors or get escorts like no big deal for them) so he came home 2 hrs later after dropping his friend ..I meanwhile he didn't pick up his pH n than went on lying tht I was pulled over ... I dropped him late (I talked to their wives so I no wht time he dropped them) than on his pH I saw his map with direction to different massage parlors I confronted him he denied the whole thing saying tht the friend told abt back pages and they opened tht to check some escort as one of his friend wanted to see... than there was a pH no in his pH listed under "fu" when I asked who it was he deleted n put a lock on his phone.now he's saying he cnt stand me cux I m crazy and I have said and accused him of things he can't take out of his mind. Tell me am I am a imagining it all.... I m pretty 5/8 I m slim with nice big boobs n tiny waist I m good n adventurous in bed than y would he need all that? I m so hurt that I cnt even eat of drink or concentrate on anything. I really love him. And he knows I m not financially stable n cnt live alone . What do I do I m so lost...I ve 3 kids to consider aswell