Thu 19 Nov, 2015 07:05 pm
So we started dating last year in September. He is 21, and I'm a 19 year old woman. This past year with him has been amazing but very stressful. We used to fight a lot over stupidity but when we're good, we're really good. We connect so well. In the beginning of our relationship I used to be very easy going about things and I didn't get jealous very easily. I was cool. For the past five/six months or so, I've been the opposite. I began stressing over everything! Girls, him going out to the club, who he was texting, etc. I used to accuse him of cheating at least five/six times a week. I became very insecure in our relationship and I don't know why.
He's always treated me like an angel!! And I took it for granted. The times he used to go out and never cheat on me, I used to accuse him and start pointless fights and I guess he got sick of it. There's a quote that says "Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care about anything." It felt like our relationship was dying. I take most of the blame because I was too stubborn to realize that I had a great man willing to do anything for me and I just killed everything. I found out that he went to a party on Saturday and slept with another girl. He denied it for a couple days and then I confornted him with proof and I broke up with him.
He started balling his eyes out saying things like "I wanted to break up with you but I couldn't because I love you too much! I haven't been myself recently because my little sister just tried killing herself a couple days ago and now she's on suicide watch(this is true). He said things like "I'm so stupid babe you've been the girl that's stuck beside me through everything, you've always been there for me! After getting accused of cheating for so long when I hadn't even done anything I felt like it had to happen. You pushed me into doing it."
We broke up last night and then he called me and told me that he needs me so I went over for an hour and he held me for so long telling me how sorry he is how much he loves me. He said that everything happens for a reason and he thinks that this will make us stronger. He called me this morning asking me if I can see him later. I told him no. He messaged me earlier this evening saying "Just know that I'm sorry about everything and I really miss you." Almost every single time we've seen each other for the past five months, there would at least be two hours out of the time we were together that I was in a bad mood. I'd either accuse him, get mad at him for going on his phone, I wouldn't let him cuddle me for the dumbest reasons, etc.
Also there's a big part that I left out. About two or three months into our relationship, I slept with someone and I never told him. I've kissed four men in total including that guy. A couple months ago I met up with a friend that really likes me. He tried kissing me but I didn't let him and I got up and left. I've lied to him about a lot of things. I feel like I deserved this to be honest. I've been so bad to him and he's always treated me like I was his world. Should I give him another chance? I love him so much.
Let me know what you think I should do! Thanks.
yup yup yup
you told us the same thing twice this week already
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Thu 19 Nov, 2015 08:05 pm - So we started dating last year in September. He is 21, and I'm a 19 year old woman. This past year with him has been amazing but very stressful. We used to fight a lot over stupidity but when... (view)
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listen to Jespah
I think you're not being fair to him or yourself. Were you concerned that he could be cheating on you because you did that to him? I'm not accusing you of that, but I think you should address that. Also, I think that you would be doing yourself an injustice by staying with him. You accused him about cheating before he ever did, so you'll be even more insecure now that's it happened. It'll be hard to ever get that trust back. Plus, you cheated on him, so the relationship doesn't seem fair for either of you, especially if he doesn't know about what you did. At the same time, this stuff happens and people can work through it. You need to do what feels right because only you know how you feel and what you need. Sometimes you have to forgive people because you aren't ready to move on, and that's fine. If you want him in your life, keep him, but know that this could happen again.