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little sister

 
 
Bl08791
 
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 01:02 am
i asked a questions about my sister but this is in different regards, same sister i noticed is sucking her thumb in her sleep. she has not at all during the day, but it is worrying me that she is doing this at night. should i confront her about it and if i do should i play it off as a joke or is this something to be worried about? she is 13 years old and has had a hard life including loss of our mom, she was molested a couple years back and we have had to go to 5 funerals in past 2 years, i dont want anything to happen to her or her to be dealing with stuff alone i care
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 06:30 am
@Bl08791,
She may not even be aware that she is doing it.

Why is this something you need to 'confront' her about? Let the kid sleep.
Bl08791
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 06:35 am
@jespah,
i was worried about it affecting her negatively as in her teeth or socially
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 06:38 am
@Bl08791,
As usual, I agree with jespah. If she's only doing it in her sleep, then there's no social problem, and as she's 13, it's too late to worry about dental problems. Her brain is probably just soothing itself. Sounds like she needs it. Let her sleep.
Bl08791
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 07:56 am
@FBM,
i did not want to cause her a problem im just trying to help her
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 08:11 am
@Bl08791,
Don't worry about it.

Leave her alone.

Don't watch her sleep. That is weirder than any thumb-sucking.
Bl08791
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 08:18 am
@ehBeth,
i wasnt watching her sleep, i was doing hw and noticed she was quiet for a while and went to the screen and saw she was asleep. i am trying to help my sister that is all
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 09:48 am
@Bl08791,
Who and where is the parent in this household? how are they helping with these problems? What are they concerns? What are you discussing with them?
Bl08791
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 09:50 am
@Ragman,
my dads response was he was going to tell her to stop being a dumb baby......with more vulgar language. ive tried talking to him and he is so far removed he doesnt care
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 09:51 am
@Bl08791,
Based on reading a number of your threads here, it seems like both of you would benefit from counselling support.

Talk to your father about getting help for your sister, and make arrangements for your own.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 10:23 am
@Bl08791,
At the moment he's worse than an absentee dad..he's neglectful toXic father.

The trouble with having these similar multiple threads about the same subject is that we're repeating the same advice and info is distracting and incomplete. Stick to one thread because if for no other reason..it confuses the forum members and keeps you from getting the best advice.

Sad to say ... the burden of this is your Dad's. Someone besides you has to sit your dad down and explain how he's neglecting his child and keeping her from growing into a healthy adult...especially after the abuse and the death of the mom.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 10:25 am
@Bl08791,
I would bring it up to the counselor when you meet - it is likely connected. Thumb sucking is a comfort. It is a way for babies and children (even adults) to comfort themself.

I have another daughter that is a thumb sucker - you are right to be concerned about her teeth. It can impact them - we know going through it with the dentist and such. It won't help though to make fun of her. It is better to support her. It is also true that she may not realize she is doing this so better to get at the root of the cause of her needing self comfort.

Other ways to help - give her a stuffed animal or something she can hug for self comfort rather than sucking her thumb. If you see her doing it her sleep - gently remove her thumb and tuck in the stuffed animal.

Believe me it is a tough habit to break. - you can do things like put a bandaid on the thumb so she realizes she is sucking it - but considering she is having nightmares and such, I would advise a more gentle approach like above - but first and foremost discuss with a counselor - I think in the short term the comfort of her thumb sucking is much more important than her teeth being a little off.
0 Replies
 
annaluv
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 13 Nov, 2015 12:21 am
@Bl08791,
you probablyshouldnt tell anyone about this including people on here! she may not appreciate that
0 Replies
 
 

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