Married Man Wants Locked Room In Home

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I am 50 yo and met a man on line that I like much more than most. For the past several months, we've talked a great deal about many different subjects. We have been honest with each other about thoughts and feeling, about many (not all) past events, our current situation and future plans. He told me a wish he has regarding getting married again and eventually building a home. In that home he would like to have a room that only he has a key to. I told him that this is not something I believe is good for a successful marriage. I think 2 people should trust one another, have transparency and good communication. Wondering what others might have to say about this?

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 866 • Replies: 13

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Sounds weird to me. Think hard about this guy.

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@CeasarSalad,

Deal breaker for me. Now that he has said this I would not be comfortable until I knew why. Does he have expensive assets that he wants to protect? If that was the reason I would be sympathetic but would look for other options.

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@CeasarSalad,

Different strokes for different folks. He is being honest and straightforward about what he needs. Whether this is acceptable to you or not is up to you. Who cares about what random people on the internet think.

If this is ok with you, then stay with him. If it isn't ok with you then dump him.

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@CeasarSalad,

CeasarSalad wrote:

I told him that this is not something I believe is good for a successful marriage.

if you're not comfortable with his request, then that's the right answer for you

__

I'd personally be kind of creeped out by the request but I'm sure there's somebody who'd be ok with it.

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@CeasarSalad,

I think it's a creepy request, from two perspectives:

- there have been very well publicised stories from around the world of men keeping women locked up in cellars for years as sex slaves(presumably it's not the cellar that he wants locked), so why he'd want someone that comes so close, and would have a huge social stigma, is worrying.

- he doesn't want to tell you why he wants a locked room that only he can access.

I'd be running the other way.

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@vikorr,

Quote:

- he doesn't want to tell you why he wants a locked room that only he can access.

Maybe, but we have not been told this.Granted I can imagine some really creepy union killing reasons for wanting to have such a space, for instance a shrine to an ex wife, but lets not make assumptions that there is not a somewhat decent justification for what has been described more as a request than a demand.

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It feels like a weird safe room. Or where the doomsday prepping happens.

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@jespah,

jespah wrote:

It feels like a weird safe room. Or where the doomsday prepping happens.

If he has been single for a lot of years this would make some sense. But I would want it understood that it is part of the transition, it will not be permanent, and I would not marry him till it is gone.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

Maybe, but we have not been told this.

Not implicitly. However, almost anyone coming on to a forum asking this question, would include the reason if they knew the reason.

Certainly if the assumption is wrong, the OP can correct it...if it's not some troll.

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@CeasarSalad,

It sounds kind of creepy. Actually a little scary.

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@CeasarSalad,

Sounds off to me as well - is he planning on locking up women in it for his pleasure? Joke of course ---

Maybe he has a problem letting go of having something that is just his - I would talk it out and see why he wants to do this. And maybe you could work out a compromise.

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@CeasarSalad,

Maybe he's a sleeper spy for the FSB, (Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation)? Maybe he works as a consultant for the CIA? Closeted serial killer? Second tier masked vigilante?

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@CeasarSalad,

CeasarSalad wrote:

I think 2 people should trust one another, have transparency and good communication.

have you talked to him about what would be in that locked room?

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Married Man Wants Locked Room In Home

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