Finally, someone has broken the silence, and I can finally get this off my chest. I don't know what it is about you, Dale, but you really rub me the wrong way. If it were up to me, I would get you so drunk that you pass out. While you were out, I would frizz her hair into a real wild man look and hair-spray the hell out of it. Then I'd super-glue a Barbie doll to the palm of one of your hands, a half empty bottle of whiskey to your other hand, and a corn-cob pipe to your lips. And yes, Barbie would be naked.
Then I'd super-glue an eye-patch over each eye, the rubber straps crisscrossing your face, and then put a pair of reading glasses on you anyway. And if there was any super-glue left, I'd attach one of those fake pair of vampire teeth into your mouth. And if there was no super-glue left, I would go to the store and get some more. To top it all off, I'd super-glue a poster-sign on your back which would read: WILL BABY-SIT FOR FREE.
Then I'd drive you out to a busy stretch of interstate highway after dark, slap you around until you come to, throw a glass of water onto the front of your pants, shove you out the door, and then take off .
That I haven't done this to you yet is a testament to my godly patience. But after reading everybody's posts in this thread, I've decided to give you one more chance. Don't blow it!