Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 06:49 am
Is there anyone who is openminded i can talk to in privacy? I need help to figure out something i cant do on my own.
Thank you!
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 06:56 am
@AnonymGuy,
If you are this concerned with privacy, visit a counselor or a trusted member of the clergy, both of whom have confidentiality provisions baked right into their professions.
AnonymGuy
 
  0  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 08:19 am
@jespah,
Thank you, but how do i do that?
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 09:48 am
@AnonymGuy,
Do you not have a telephone directory? A smart phone with access to Google? A doctor you could ask for a referral? A church or synagogue or mosque or ashram you go to? A trusted friend who could refer you?
AnonymGuy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 01:39 pm
@jespah,
The close ones are the hardest, and im not a very religious person. Doctors and such are no help in this. Just want to talk to someone with an openminded heart and a clear head.
Anyways Thank you very much for your time!
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 02:39 pm
@AnonymGuy,
You're anonymous. Why not just spill it here.
AnonymGuy
 
  0  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 03:05 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Of course thats an option, but sadly these days a lot of people are not behaving Well on the internet. Dont want to waste my time or loose hope by seeing stupid comments online. Also talking to someone about something difficoult in privacy might help to bond new friendships
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2015 08:32 pm
@AnonymGuy,
You might benefit and get good suggestions, too. Take a look around on the forum and see how many people actually are getting good advice without getting a lot of bs or insulting answers. Why not give it a shot?
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 07:15 am
@AnonymGuy,
AnonymGuy wrote:

.... Just want to talk to someone with an openminded heart and a clear head. ...


So basically you are looking to 'befriend' (you'll see why I'm skeptical in a moment) someone, spill your guts to them, hope they'll be nice to you and then move on? Counseling by someone with perhaps no experience in that area, no obligation to maintain confidentiality and who might possibly have an agenda.

For free.

With no need to actually listen to that other person's issues.

This is what counselors are trained to do, and it is what they are paid to do. If you impose on someone for all of that, and give pretty much nothing in return, then you will get what you pay for.

I get that there are countries where counseling is a problematic thing to have on one's record. Hence the suggestion of talking online.

So those are your choices. Get counseling if you can. Or release your problem onto the Internet and take your chance on getting decent advice, or on being trolled. Or spend some time and make an actual friend, which means a give and take and that you have to actually, you know, give a damn about them and try to help them, too.

Decide what you are willing to pay. Money, risk, or attention.
AnonymGuy
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 08:43 am
@jespah,
Well thank you but that wasn't what I meant. You think I would just move on from that person? Just take and not give? All I wanted was advices if that was possible and someone to talk to AND that it would be nice IF I made friends along the way. Sigh I guess that's to much to wish for these days.
FOUND SOUL
 
  3  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 02:54 pm
@AnonymGuy,
Jespah was actually correct, you wrote it, she and others read it.

The thing is, a lot of us have good hearts, but to listen to a strangers problem, offer their "thoughts", privately, leads to them not agreeing to those thoughts or/and adding and it goes on and on and on.. Eventually that person walks away. Then you are in a worse boat as you feel rejected twice.

If someone takes and not gives, isn't that simular to you wanting someone to talk to privately about you with nothing in return to give? Friendships are two ways.

If she takes and never gives, then move away from that person.
AnonymGuy
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 03:47 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
No I didn't write it like that. I apologize if that's how you took it. What I meant is that I would love to have someone to talk to and bond friendships along the way. Friendships mean indeed that it goes both ways, I thought you understood that but apparently not. So what I'm saying is that it would be lovely to talk to someone and it would be even greater to have a friend to, NOT move away from them when I want. I hope I made myself clear now? Anyways this seems pointless, I was trying out something new and hoped to across my path with someone elses but what I get is only criticism for how I write my questions, how BAD I am. I'm not saying that you said that but that's how I took it. Never mind, can't rely on the internet anyways.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 06:07 pm
@AnonymGuy,
When you are that thin-skinned, perhaps what you really need is some counseling. People here advised you to look around the forum and notice how many threads exist where newbies have asked for and received good advice and constructive help. But you don't want that . Ok...then I hope you'll find an alternative that's agreeable.

good luck
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 06:33 pm
I partly sympathize, Anonym, as I used to be as, um, prickly and private as you seem to be. I've changed quite a bit between my year at seventeen and now at seventy four, while essentially still the same, as a song says.

A2K was set up as a knowledge site, and, despite free flowing rambunctiousness and insulteramas, in many ways A2k still is that. If you have stuff you want to take to private messages, you can, you just click on INBOX on the upper right dark blue band. However, if you can't even name the subject, that won't work.

I've only had counseling once and that was a regrettable experience, but in retrospect it wasn't from what I would now call a professional counselor, quite the opposite.

Some people here are wise some of the time (no one on earth is wise 24/7) and are worth listening to, either on the "boards" or by private message.


ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 06:40 pm
@ossobuco,
I should add that if you want to look up comments on some subject matter, there are two ways to do it -

write the short version of the subject matter in the Search Forums box to the right ('forums' is another word for subjects), 0r click search at the top right in the dark blue band.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 10:56 pm
@AnonymGuy,
There are places, I think you are relatively young but not that young, keep typing everywhere because I believe if you want something so badly it will happen.

If you "do" need counselling in addition, don't shut it out of your mind as an additional thing ..
0 Replies
 
AnonymGuy
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2015 02:40 am
@Ragman,
Thin skinned? Oboy.. Look this seems pointless. All i wanted was some advices, simple as that, and that it would be lovely to add new friends along the way. Clearly people read it so wrong and just type the most obiously things and treating me like im a **** person. Is it to much to Ask for a Friend? Is it to much to Ask for help? Without getting these kind of comments back? Well i guess im just "to young" as the other one said here. If 28 is that young then Okay then. Agian since i clearly has to be detailed and explain everything to the buttom, im not intending to say that you or the others types like that to me, its how I sees and take it as. Just like how some other took it like i was a Horrible person that would move on from a person After i told them my issues. Is this really how the world is? Is this how people judge other people before they know em? Then i sadly start to loose hope for humanity. Now this seems like a waste of time and a regretable decision to come her.
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2015 04:41 am
@AnonymGuy,
Quote:
All i wanted was some advices, simple as that


You need to ask a question in that regard.

Quote:
Clearly people read it so wrong


Ok, but how is it we are all wrong but you are right?

Grow some ........B.... each place you go to is different. I stated young but not that young, 28 is in that range.

Is that for real ? Or you added that in?

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, whoa is me doesn't work here, just giving you a heads up. See these for the "most " part intelligent, hit it between the eyes, "guys/girls" ready for that? If not, with some "different thoughts" you get your wish, sooooooo go that way, as a troll would come up with a reason, you know how to counter-act a poster.....

AnonymGuy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2015 05:02 am
@FOUND SOUL,
This is hilarious and you statement is invalid. And when did i say that everyone is wrong and im right? I never typed that, im just telling you the way i read things like yourself do very clearly. Please stop with these sayings like "stop feel sorry for yourself" then you on the other hand is the one acting like a person who knows everything. Yes im 28, why should i add that in? Is it unormal? And i cant understand at all why you are posting these texts to me, is it entertaining to argue? Dont you have better things to do in your life rather then bringing people down and posting "facts" you for sure KNOW about people here and There? I gently Ask you to stop posting stuff to my page if its only negative stuff you have on your mind.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2015 10:28 am
@AnonymGuy,
Quote:
Look this seems pointless.
0 Replies
 
 

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