@anyadvice1988,
I had trouble reading through all of this.
1) Your boyfriend's problems with his ex-wife and children are his problems, not yours. You can't fix this. You don't want to be in the middle of this (really you don't). And, there is nothing you can do to make this better.
It is clear that your boyfriend should have a lawyer, and should be discussing these thing with his lawyer. But that is another issue.
The main thing you need to understand is that this is not a problem you own, or a problem that you (as the new girlfriend) can do anything about. He needs to figure it out.
2) You need to decide whether a relationship with the man, at this time (when he is having problems with his ex-wife and children). This sounds like a difficult position to be in, and I don't know if I would put myself through this (even with the best person on earth.
There is a good possibility that your boyfriend simply isn't ready for a relationship with you right now. He needs time to figure this old crap out and resolve the turmoil in his life. Until he does this, it will be impossible for him to be in a healthy relationship.
These two issues; the ex-wife/children turmoil that only he can solve (with the help of a lawyer of course; and the question of whether he is in a place in life where he can meet your needs... are separate issues. Don't confuse them.
And don't pretend that you can fix anything. If you stay in this relationship, you are in for a difficult time where you are being hurt by problems you didn't create, and that you can do absolutely nothing to solve.