Reply
Tue 14 Jan, 2003 07:20 pm
SECRETS TIPS FOR MAKING A MARRIAGE LAST!
Secret tips for making a marriage last...
My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good
food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down !"
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"
My wife asked me to say something dirty to her, so I said "Kitchen!"
What happens if you throw a grenade in the kitchen?
The mess is still there, but that whiny yapping stops!
They say that the shortest sentence in the english langauge is "I am"
Could it be that the longest is "I Do" ?
Last summer we went to the beach. First she'd bury me in the sand, then I'd bury her. Next summer maybe I'll go back and dig her up.
The other night my kid came running into the bedroom in the middle of the night shouting, "Mommy, Daddy, the house is on fire!" and my wife said, "Shhh darling, you'll wake up daddy."
My wife cut me down to sex twice a month. I can't complain, I know three guys she cut off completely!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace