Call me a crazy man but the big jolly jelly belly man of Christmas is satan.
I think we’re not seeing the forest for the trees here. Let’s put Santa into perspective. He’s a heavy-set jolly guy who wears flaming red pants, flaming red coat and a flaming red hat. And it doesn’t stop there. There’s white fur trim lining the top of his boots, around the hem of his coat, and around his hat. And to top it all off, a white fur ball at the end of his hat. Allegedly, he has a wife, but one that he apparently doesn’t care to travel with. You’d think that all this would raise some red flags, but . . . no.
And what’s he been doing all year before Christmas? Who knows? But whatever he’s been doing, it has culminated in his having learned which kids have been good, and which kids have been bad. Stalking is such a strong word, but if the white fur-trimmed boot fits . . .
And what does he want? He wants to come into your house at night when there’s nobody awake, and give your kids presents. As far as what he wants in return for the presents, do I really have to go into that? And if you’re going to suggest that nothing untoward is going on because your kids don’t seem traumatized on Christmas morning, consider that this guy has the power of hypnosis. And if you find that too hard to believe, then consider this: A jolly older man in flaming red attire with white fur trim traveling alone who admits to having seen your kids when they were sleeping wants to give them presents in the middle of the night. Now, consider that you’re okay with that. Can you say hypnosis?