5
   

Does he want more than just fwb? Or is he just a nice guy?

 
 
hussshy
 
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 08:22 am
Help!!!
So I have been seeing this guy for several months now. We started normal-went on a couple of dates then ended up hooking up. However, none of us said anything about it-no boundaries, no clarity, no nothing. We just continued hanging out , ******* and got closer in the process. I assumed it was fwb though since nun of us cared to talk Abt it. A couple of times he would say he loves me but I ignored it coz he would say it during or after sex so that's not serious to me. We call each other best friends and we always together and go anywhere together. But I feel he gets too romantic at times. When I am not ok, he takes care of me, sleeps in the hospital all week despite me pushing him away. He drives hours just to get me something I want. And yes he is always buying me stuff I sometimes have to get mad to stop him.

I pretty much stay over at his place 99% of the times-if I leave for some reason, he will always make sure I leave something behind so he can look at it? Weird. he is always trying to find a reason to kiss and cuddle with me all the time.I dnt knw if am reading too much into this fwb thingy-I don't want to like him and then get hurt at the end so I keep him at a distance.at the same time, I don't want to keep hurting him if he really cares. I go on dates with other guys sometimes and even though he is not ok with it, he lets me. But he doesn't want to see any girl even if I try to make him, he says he don't wanna meet anyone else as long as am there? Wtf.

Recently I was mad at him and didn't talk to him for a few days, he started talking to this other girl and tricked me into seeing her messages- even if I was jealous somehow, I told him to go ahead and meet the girl I wouldn't mind. He flipped on me and went all apologetic saying he won't do it again and that he was just trying to see my reaction. I am confused with this guy. I knw for a fact he likes to take care of his family and friends so he may just be nice. but am I wrong? Could he be trying to make this into something more or should I just go on ignoring all this?
*he recently got out of a 6 year relationship- his fiance got married and it messed him up. Is he just tryna keep me around till he can start dating again?
Sorry it's pretty long
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,369 • Replies: 7
No top replies

 
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 08:29 am
@hussshy,
It sounds like he wants more and you don't. Is that true? Either way, you should clarify the situation with him. Either tell him you want more or want less.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 08:33 am
@hussshy,
What do you want?

Figure it out and talk to him.
0 Replies
 
hussshy
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 08:48 am
@engineer, @ehbeth
Am not necessarily against dating him. I just don't want to seem too needy and lure him into dating when he is not ready. I don't believe in girls making the first move-if he wants something more, he should be upfront and say it. I don't want to be the one who gets to develop feelings in an fwb and mess up the whole thing
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 09:38 am
@hussshy,
You're ok with ******* the guy but not ok with making the first move toward a relationship.

That's fucked up.

___

This is the 21st century.

Women have been telling men what they need and want for many many decades.

Grow up and talk to him.

Seriously.

It's bullshit to think that men have to be the ones to make the first move. Straight out bullshit.


(someone else can find a nicer way to say that)
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 10:15 am
@ehBeth,
I think you said it perfectly well, ehBeth.

Hussshy, he has been telling you in all kinds of ways that he wants a relationship, not just fwb. My guess is that he thinks you only want an fwb type of relationship, so he stays quiet. The two of you need to learn a new word. Here it is. Communication. Start talking. One of you need to start the conversation about where you two are headed. So why not you? Start it.
0 Replies
 
Paulstev
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 19 Oct, 2015 03:37 am
Looks like her cares more than you.
Do with it whatever you wish.
0 Replies
 
shawn77bird
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 24 Oct, 2015 07:46 pm
@hussshy,
from dating[fwb] to a proper relationship, you want to stop playing games;if you’re trying to move things forward, from dating to a proper relationship, you want to stop playing games; to get rid of all games you guys are playing with each other.

Of course, it’s easy enough for YOU to stop playing games if you so choose.

The question is, though… how can he stop you from playing games?

How can you disarm them before they even come up?

And THAT is an excellent question.Playing “games” is for pickup and dating… and for that purpose, they work very well.In a serious relationship with more depth, however, all these head games are really a lose-lose scenario… like in a nuke war, there are no winners.

Either you end up losing the power struggle, then you lose…

…or you end up winning the power struggle and fall out of love;What’s more… when you’re in love, playing head games with each other is absolutely exhausting.

Give each other a break, stop playing games, and discover how deep of a connection you can really build.

The first time I approached a relationship with one of my girlfriends that way, something fascinating happened… we started to speak openly about everything, and guess what... she just needed encouragement to show her feelings, because just like EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, she had been hurt in the past, she was afraid… and she wanted to be loved.

She said she didn’t want to show her feelings because she was afraid of sounding corny.

She didn’t want to call and message me often because she was afraid of looking like a stalker.

She didn’t want to cry about missing me because she was afraid of looking ridiculous.withdrawing ended up hurting the relationship more than it helped… talk about some messed up society conditioning.because it takes more courage to open up than to hide from our feelings.

And if a girl is really in love with you, then any sort of moodiness you detect – such as distance, anger or aloofness – is GENERALLY about them not feeling loved -- a.k.a. their own FEAR.And that’s every bit as important as the knowledge of how to put an end to games, because that knowledge is only half of the battle - the other half is finding a partner who’ll be able to put an end to them along with you, too.

Onward and upward,
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

A good cry on the train - Discussion by Joe Nation
I want to run away. I can't do this anymore. Help? - Question by unknownpersonuser
Please help, should I call CPS?? - Question by butterflyring
I Don't Know What To Do or Think Anymore - Question by RunningInPlace
Flirting? I Say Yes... - Question by LST1969
My wife constantly makes the same point. - Question by alwayscloudy
Cellphone number - Question by Smiley12
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Does he want more than just fwb? Or is he just a nice guy?
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.08 seconds on 11/15/2024 at 07:44:52