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Fri 9 Oct, 2015 09:49 am
Hi, i'm kind of new to this. I've been in bad shape the past few days. I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. Sort of long distance relationship (1.5 hours away). Both full time graduate students. i'm 31 and he's 30. We had a wonderful one year and even went for an anniversary vacation. We did have arguments along the way - mostly about his close relationship with his ex and her son, my paranoia of being cheated etc. We both have issues. I tend to be overdramatic and i expect him to be a mind reader. He tends to give me silent treatment for days when he's annoyed/unhappy. But i was hoping to work it out. I cook, clean, and organize his apartment. He's a messy guy and it irks me sometimes. We had an argument days ago - and I know it was my fault. I was being overdramatic. But i apologized immediately afterwards - several times. But he gave me silent treatment for 3 days - no reply nothing. Finally he did. I asked if he's still angry. He said "i'm not angry". I asked if we're ok. He said "i don't know'. I apologized again. Then he said "i feel like we're in different wavelengths". To me it sounds like a breakup. So I asked "are we breaking up?". He replies "I'm not sure". Since we're in LDR, it's difficult to solve such issues. I don't want FaceTime nor text. So we decided to meet face to face tomorrow. I don't know what to do anymore. Convince him not to break up? Propose a trial break up? or completely break up?
@cheyenne17,
Hello,
it seems to me that your relationship is very one sided and you're the one who makes an effort, does everything for him (why would you clean his apartment and apologize later on for his own mess?) Then he treats you with silence for days on end like a little child. He's not mature enough, despite his chronological age of 30, his emotional state is more like 15. Break up with him and count your blessings that you're rid of him. He does not deserve you!
Write this down and put it on your mirror so you see it every day: "He does not deserve you!"
I agree with CJ, you need to move on and here's why:
When he uses the "silent treatment" he's evidencing a passive-aggressive personality. It's very difficult to build a relationship with guys like that.
Cut your losses. You can do better.