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How does one know if their choice is sincere?

 
 
Reply Wed 7 Oct, 2015 08:14 pm
My mum told me that I should start 'being myself', that I do things that are unnatural for me. But that confuses me.. how do I know if the actions I am choosing are really the ones that I want, instead of what I subconsciously think others would be satisfied with? For example, how do I know that I am choosing this shirt over that because I feels more like "me", rather than choosing this shirt because I feel that I will be perceived in a certain way when others see me in it? Or how do I know that it's me who wants to go to the show, instead of deep down feeling that others will want me there? I don't know if this makes sense.. this is my first time on a forum. I apologize for being all over the place. But this idea is starting to mess with me... it feels like nothing I do is sincere to just me. I'm aware of how others sometimes see me because of comments I have picked up over the years, and I know that even without meaning to, people often conform to the way that they think society will accept them the most for.

Does this make sense to anyone? I need to know how I can make decisions for myself, and not for or because of others.
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roger
 
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Reply Wed 7 Oct, 2015 09:12 pm
@phoenixorenda,
Actually, it does make sense to me, but I suggest you don't worry too much over it.

I once worked around a woman who wiggled her but in an artificial and extraordinary way. I mentioned it to my own girl friend, and she agreed it was totally phony, but it was the real her - now.

I don't think that's a bit helpful, but if what you wear and do doesn't seem like the 'real you', consider that the real you is the one that's motivating you. Quit worrying about it.
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ashwin723
 
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Reply Tue 28 Mar, 2017 12:55 pm
You try to impress others about the aspects of yourself, about which you are not impressed yourself.

The reason we try to impress others is to win their recognition. Recognition makes us feel special; fate's favorite. Recognition leads to pride, which is contempt for others.

When you not think of your achievements and abilities, but apply your self fully in each task, you are being humble, sincere. That is being yourself.

Showing off earns others scorn; makes you reach beyond your limits, building your future defeats.

Sincerity keeps building upon your successes, and avoids defeats.

Do not compete with others, do compete with yourself. The magic of this is: after being defeated ten times, the next time you are dealing with a weak competitor, so no need to be discouraged, and if you had 10 successes in a row, now you have a reason to worry, you are competing with smart person, so you will never become proud.
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