Life

Strange thing--I think my ex-gf called my mother. It was about three weeks ago. Call it intuition, but just over hearing a conversation between my mother and father, it led me to conclude that she had called my mother. I think that the ex-gf knows that the way back to me is through my parents because she knows that I value their opinions. At any rate, my mother never told me if my ex called--I think to protect me from emotional hurt--to just let me continue to heal from the relationship. My mother did say that she thought my ex was "An idiot." I have not heard from my ex nor have I ever contacted her. Now it has been about five months of NC. I occasionally see my ex when I am in the audience of music event because the ex works in the music industry. I can tell that she sees me. Her co-workers have even waved at me on several occasions. It is awkward, but I'm not there to see the ex- . I am there for the music.

Several people have told me that whatever reason it ended, it is there opinion that my ex made a bad decision to end it with me. Some of these people are acquainted with my ex. If she contacted me, I wonder what I would say or do.

In terms of the older woman, I'm still with her. She's is very nice to me, very warm. She knows that I don't open up emotionally. I keep her out of my heart. If things ended tomorrow, it would not impact me emotionally. Someone on here said that older women are great--in many ways, they are great! They seem appreciative and secure.

That said, I am very lonely. I have my parents and friends, yes, but I very lonely and feel empty.

The depression continues; it is not as debilitating as it once was. It was pretty bad there for awhile. I go to the gym A LOT--besides making me pretty buff it seems to reduce the depression.