Does she even know I like her?

Forums: Relationships, Help, Facebook, Crush
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So I met up with this girl from my old high school. She's a freshman and we've been talking on facebook for about two weeks now.

I asked her to get boba last week and it went pretty well! We went to dinner at a noodle bar yesterday and it was a bit awkward at first but it got a lot smoother as the night went on. I asked her for her number yesterday night and she looked a bit awkward before she gave it to me and asked me to give her mine.

Our school schedules don't really coincide so I can't see her as much unless we arrange something but I saw her yesterday during the afternoon before we went out to eat walking back to her dorm with some other guy.

Looking back, I'm not even sure if she knew I was meaning to
ask her on a date when I asked her to get dinner/boba.

Can you guys please help me understand a little more about this?

Thanks!

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@altecz,

What did you say to her after the date?

Did you tell you'd enjoyed the date?

Give her a clue.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I told her I had fun and then I asked for her number, said thanks, and then have a good night

1 Reply

@altecz,

Did you use the date word anywhere along the line?

___

It may not matter this early on - or might make her uncomfortable to think of it as a date. Try and keep things comfortable and pleasant.

Get in touch with her later today - let her know again you had a great time, confirm you'd like to see her again and actually suggest something / ask her suggest something.

hi K - had a great time with you last night. I look forward to going out again. Same thing next week? or is there something else you'd like to get together to do? A

(follow up in a couple of days)

One of the questions we get here often (from men and women) is why someone hasn't been in touch to ask them out again after a coffee/meal/date - so they can't tell if someone really liked them or was just being polite.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

No I did not. I'm actually pretty nervous about hinting at it if she doesnt figure it out for herself. Like you said, it could be quite awkward.

Would it be too soon to ask her out again? I mean we went to boba last Friday and dinner yesterday.

1 Reply

@altecz,

I don't think it's too early to suggest the next get-together. Aim for something 4 - 5 days out. Try something somewhat less date-like than a meal for a change. Museum, participate in a sports meet-up, actually do something instead of eating.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Well we took some pretty long walks after eating both times but I see what you mean.

So it would not appear too clingy if I were to ask her again?

1 Reply

@altecz,

It would be different if you were texting her dozens of times a day and begging for her attention.

Telling someone you enjoyed spending time with them and suggesting that you do something again early next week isn't clingy.

Clingy also suggests you're telling her that she needs to spend all of her free time with you and that you don't do anything unless it involves her.

Continue your normal activities but add on an occasional date/get-together with this young woman.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Hmmm that's interesting. Can you help me identify if what I'm doing is clingy though?

So I usually initiate Facebook messages and wait for her to answer. Usually we just exchange one message every hour or so. When I see her reply I answer, and vice versa.

I hope this cannot be taken as clingy right? Im not sending like 5 messages at a time.

1 Reply

@altecz,

I'd think a message an hour is too much since you're both busy with life. Are you exchanging messages after every class? I'd personally start to find that annoying/clingy/demanding, however that's my reflection, not hers.

Maybe cut it down a tiny bit - a message mid-day, then late afternoon and if she's got time another few messages after classes are done for the day.

2 Replies

@ehBeth,

Maybe an hour was too exaggerated. Pretty much just a reply whenever the other one answers. But I will definitely cut it down a bit.

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@ehBeth,

sometimes it ranges from around 1-3 hours a reply

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Does she even know I like her?

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