The Made-up Quotes chain game

Getting back on track....

Put a dog in front of a TYPEWRITER, and they will likely write all of Avril Lavigne's songs in time, a short time, as one will do.

(Maybe we should have an 'Avril and other items of Distate' digression thread, in one of the obscure boards on this forum...)

Be WARY of an old guy who uses a typerwriter and sings songs about chipmunks.

Wary is as ALVIN does.

Alvin from those Chipmunks, right? Alvin, Simon, Theodore? God, if they were modern, they'd be divorcing their parents right now. Wow, they freaked me out with their voices. And what was it with those Chippetes or whatever they were?!

Alvin is alive, and well, and living in MINNEAPOLIS with a zebu called 'Sunscreen Spirit.'

Snow lovers are right at HOME in Minneapolis

Home is where the MORTGAGE is.

(diverging) I was freaked out by those damn chipmunks too. There's a guy I catch sometimes on internet radio who does really rude songs in the Alvin voice. It's funnny as hell.

Jesu, there's a niche for everything!

*Tries to look flippant so as to hide her heartbreak that someone stole her idea.*

Any particular gems that should be listened to?

If you mortgage your soul to the devil, know that you can't BUY it back

You don't buy an ALMOND if you want a Brazil nut

Unfortunately, they are not accessible really, nor quoteable here.

Well, damn it...

If Simon had to have been singing, it would have all been different.

(Incidentally, is this a long and lonely path, or were you anti-Theodore in youth?)

An almond a day makes for a nutty DIET

'You LIVE; you diet.'

First to stay on track....

Live is just EVIL spelled backwards.

As for the Chipmunks, I just plain hated them all, which might explain my fondness for this happy Christmas song which I have sadly posted before:

Holy ****, It's Christmas!
(Grenga/Stevens/Johnson/Lawry)
Red Peters with The New Christy Hamsters

SFX - Jingling bells, intro music bed, etc.

(off in the distance) "Ho, ho, ho....."

Hamster #1 - "Did you hear that?"

Hamster #2 - "Hey everybody, Santa's here!"

Hamster #3 - "Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus."

Hamster #2 - "There is, too!"

SFX - knock on door

Hamsters - "He's here!!!"

SFX - door bursts open

Red - "Ho, ho, ho... Merry Christmas boys!"

Hamster #1 - "Aw, ****, it's Red Peters..."

Hamsters - "Awww..." (grumbling in unison)

Red - "Come on you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song."

Hamster #1 - "Oh no, not another corny, stupid song."

Hamster #2 - "Yeah, no way Red."

Hamsters - "Yeah, yeah..."

Red - "Get over here and sing or I'll ring your little necks!"

Hamsters - "OK!, OK!...jeesh!"

SUNG
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me
forget about out all that teasin'
we're breakin' out the holly and aluminum tree
cuz it's that jolly season
I know you been naughty, but have you been nice
that's only Santa's business
he's makin' his list and he's checkin' it twice
Holy ****, It's Christmas! (HAMSTERS)

HAMSTERS
Santa comes just once a year
just like you Red, that's what we hear
he's got a soft spot for reindeer
especially Rudolph's derriere

knock it off fellas it's a holiday
go on give santa a big kiss
you can play hide the hamster on a one horse sleigh
Holy ****, It's Christmas! (HAMSTERS)

(instrumental)

Red - "Hey, what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyric sheet?"

Hamster #1 - "Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red.
We know our parts by heart. Right fellas?" (giggles)

Hamster #2 - "Yeah, sure, I know my part, Godfried." (giggles)

Hamster #3 - "Yah, me too!" (giggles)

Red- "Well that's great guys, I love Christmas songs."

SUNG
(Godfried) - Santa tried reaching up the neighbors blouse
after drinking all the eggnog

(Bruce) - camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
squashing off a yule log

(Raliegh) - he wandered in his undies all over the house
but we minded our own business

(Hamsters) - til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube

(All) - Holy ****, It's Christmas!

(Red) Santa comes just once a year
up the chimney he'll disappear

(hamsters) keep on the look out for Mr. Gear
hamster deliveries in the rear

Red - (grabbing the lyric sheet, speaking...) "Gimme those lyrics!!!"

roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
santas tongue stuck to the doorknob
his balls got fondled by a carolin' choir
while the parson gave him a hand... what?
the sleigh came down and took him away
that whole damn crowd was dismissed
it was time to be jolly, a time to be gay
Holy ****, It's Christmas! (HAMSTERS)
Holy ****, It's Christmas! "
Holy ****, It's Christmas! "
(end)

Evil in high PLACES can fester unseen

The hamster thing (as opposed to chipmunks) was about copyright.

O, my Jigsaw, Cav... I can't believe that it took four people to write that, 'though...

The Chipmunks just commited some mortal sin for being themselves.

Some places are great, others are in North DAKOTA.