Why is it we are the hardest on the people we care about the most?

Your question has too many variables:

For example:

- don't you mean 'Why are some people hardest on those they care about the most?' There are plenty of people who aren't 'hardest' on those they care about

- what do you mean by hardest? Do you mean: they attack those they care about the most; they have higher expectations of those they care about and hold them to those higher standards (where they don't with others); they get picky at any little fault in those they care about the most...there are a lot of meanings for 'hardest'

- by 'those we care about the most', do you mean married family, blood family, close friends, or all as a group...because I've seen plenty of people who hold different behaviour around those different groups...and each can be close.

There's too many variables in your question. Perhaps if your question was 'why do some people constantly fight with their spouse' you might get responses.

Parent to child?

Parent to Teen?

Lover to Lover?

Child to Parent?

Maybe it's simply because we CARE about that person, but sometimes it can be too much and come off as bossy instead of compassion or caring.

Why does it have to be any particular variable vikorr? Life is full of many different variables in any given situation, don't ya think?

Good point Punkey. Every time I see your name I think about Punkey Brewster... Lol Man those 80's are so long gone...

Immediately following saying that your proposition had too many variables, I explained why that is a problem (in a conversation).

Absolutely.

That's kinda my point vikorr. There are so many variables to every situation in life. So how can it just be nailed down to one? It's like a puzzle of sorts. Everyone has a different piece of it, and the only way to see the whole picture is to put all the pieces together.

Perhaps I wasn't clear then - there's too many variables for a conversation in a forum. In answering your question, which has numerous variables, I could talk about X while you think I'm talking about Z. Or you don't like what I say in relation to Y and give an example from W. It would too easily become a tangled mess.

Or... You could talk about X... And I could go... "Whoa, I never thought about it that way. Well geez, if I didn't understand X right, maybe I should take a look at W, Y, and Z too." Its all about the motive behind the question. I fear my motive is misinterpreted more often then not.

That's a possibility, but that is just one example of the problem:

When someone offers a question loaded with variables without articulating their own thoughts (one line isn't sufficient):
- why are they asking (is it a philosophy exercise, a 'I don't understand' exercise', a fishing exercise to justify some behaviour of theirs, or some other reason)
- how do you answer accurately without knowing what they are truly asking (because of the variables and not knowing the reason - usually, you are able to determine the intent/ a more accurate idea of the true question if the motive is known)

The last thing as I looked at it was - this is pages of material, where does anyone start. I think that is perhaps why there is no discussion on it.

I call that over thinking. Wondering ahead of time what the results of your answer will be. Was it what they were looking for? Maybe they just wanna argue, or make me look like a fool because they already know the answer they are looking for and just want someone to agree with them. I understand completely this thought process and why it happens. Please know this now... If I ask a question its not for any other reason than I am interested in hearing what other people have to say about it. Just looking for more pieces to put together this puzzle of life.

Well, each to their own, but I thought it too difficult to answer. The rest of this conversation has been over why.

It is too difficult to answer, you are right. I just realized why. Thanks.