Verbal and Physical abuse by a teacher

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My daughter is 15. Today at school, last class of the day, my daughter asked the teacher to use the bathroom. As she was walking out the door, the teacher told the entire class that my daughter was bi-sexual (which she's not), needless to say the other kids in class got a huge laugh at my daughters expense.

She went to the first bathroom and there was urine on the toilet seat, so she left that bathroom and went down the hall to the next bathroom, hoping to find a clean toilet to use.

She stopped at her locker on the way back to get her jacket because she said she was cold. She had been absent a couple of days before due to the flu.

She returned back the her class and her teacher had locked her out. Another student opened the door and let her back in. The teacher saw her and told her to go to the principal's office. She asked him why and he told her because I didn't give you permission to get a jacket.

So, my daughter went to the office, the principal was in a meeting, and the vice-principal was on the phone. My daughter called home to let us know about the bi-sexual comment and she was sent to the office because she had put a jacket on.

After 10 minutes of waiting, the day was about to end and no one had time to see her so she proceeded back to class. She had a can of pop in the hall (which is allowed) and she had picked it up to take a drink. The teacher came into the hall, grabbed my daughters hand with the pop can in it, squeezed it hard enough to crush the can and splash pop all over my daughter's clothes. The bell rang and the school day was over.

My daughters hand was hurting and she came home and has been holding an ice pack on it.

I talked to the vice-principal, who could care less and very rude. The teacher admitted to the vice-principal about making the sexual comment.

My daughter said this isn't the first time he has made sexual comments to female students, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I'm just at a loss for what to do next. It seems as if I am getting no where and the school seems to find this as "normal behavior".

My husband and I are going to school tomorrow to discuss this in person. Anyone have any pointers that have been through something similar?

It's a shame that not only kids have to fear other kids in school, but kids fearing teachers just sickens me.

Sad

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I would suggest that you contact your local newspaper; contact any local television news organization that has a "muckraker" program--i.e., sends reporters out to dig up the dirt when viewers call in with complaints; contact the local school board; contact the state school board; contact the local department of children and family services (no, this doesn't mean i think you're on welfare--but these are usually the people in the community who investigate allegations of abuse). You shouldn't put up with this--if the vice principal and the principal will do nothing, they are just as guilty as the teacher.

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Yikes. What a terrible thing for your daughter to have to endure.

Does you daughter have any friends that were in the classroom and witnessed the remarks? Did anyone witness the soda can/hand squeezing?

I'd be tempted to get any witnesses to make written statements as soon as possible. Go and meet with the principle tomorrow and see what comes of it. I'd also be calling the Superintendent of Schools and arranging a meeting with him/her to discuss it. You might also see if your State Board of Education has a "complaints" section on their WWW site where you can find a point of contact and file a complaint with them.

If it were my child I wouldn't let the Principle handle the entire thing unless that Principle turns around and dismisses that teacher pronto.

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The entire class of around 20 heard the verbal remarks.

The squeezing the pop/hand was right outside the classroom door, so she doesn't know yet if anyone saw it or not. But, when she came home you could see the pop splattered all on her shirt and jacket.

My husband and I are meeting the principal at 9:45 am tomorrow. I am hoping action is taken.

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You've had some great advice so far. I wouldn't put up with that for a second. You might also want to contact a lawyer as well as the advice that was given to you here. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior from a teacher. Your daughter must be devistated to say the least. Also, in certain states it's legal to record conversations and use them in court, but I would contact a lawyer before doing that. This is an outrage!!!

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How are we choosing teachers these days???

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Please keep us informed.

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Yes, please do!

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Kelbie,

Take your attorney with you to the school meeting. I guarantee you will be listened to very carefully. How about a private school at the school district's expense?

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A reasonable offer of settlement, Asherman.

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Asherman
That's a great idea. I was going to suggest taking a lawyer to the meeting, but I don't think they could get one on such short notice. It wouldn't hurt to tell then that you will be contacting your attorney on this issue.

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We live in a small town (3,000 people) and I don't think I could get an attorney on that short of notice...

Same thing with the school, we don't have any other local schools in this area.

Our only choice is homeschooling, and we didn't really want to do that but it looks like we may have to.

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Kelbie
I have been homeschooling my son for 2 years because of the failing school systems and in my case it was the best thing I ever did for my son. I got nowhere trying to fight the schools, so this worked.

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This teacher was totally out of line to the point of abuse, but proving it is always the problem since they have back up from the principles and also have their own group of lawyers. I wouldn't want my son in a school like that.

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Hi Kelbie....
My heart goes out to you. It is amazing in this day and age what can happen in a school. For example did you know that corporal punishment in schools is consitutional so long as the punishment is reasonable. The Supreme Court upheld this citing that there are reasonable remedies such as lwasuits to prevent this from getting out of hand. I bet if you surveyed 100 people on the street 100 wouldn't know this was constitutional. I would go in as prepared as possible and indeed get as many written statements as you can. Here in MA in a town called Duxbury a student was expelled for a first time drug offense (smoking pot) on school grounds. The student took full responsibility and had never had any problems in school before. Despite that fact that expulsion is not the recommended outcome in the school handbook/ policy book the school expelled him and the family is still fighting this issue. In fact the majority of the town is against this remedy and still the boy is not back in school. Just be sure to protect yourself as much as possible. If this teacher harassed your daughter he is likely harassing (and doing God knows what else) to other girls as well. Many girls at that ager are scared of what will happen if they tell again. Be proud of your daughter and tell her what a great example she is setting for other girls and women. Good luck!!

Meridith

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My husband and I went to school today to meet with the principal and vice principal.

I will use the word GIRL instead of my daughters name.

The teacher admitted to the sexual remark.
The teachers response to this was: When GIRL walked past the boys bathroom I made the comment...Does GIRL know if she's a boy or a girl? She must be bi-sexual.

My daughter sat across the table and I could just see the fire in her eyes.

The squeezing of her hand/pop is still under investigation. The teacher is stating my daughter grabbed his arm (which was a lie) because my daughter had an ice pack on her hand last night for hours from the teacher squeezing HER hand.

Hopefully when the investigation is finished the truth will come out. The reason I think the teacher is lying about the hand/pop incident is he might think no one else saw what happened.

The bi-sexual comment he made to the entire class so there were too many witnesses for him to deny that.

The vice principal also admitted my daughter had come to him in December for 2 other sexual comments the same teacher had made, but he didn't think it was a big deal to notify a parent. There's another word for that....coverourownass!

They gave my daughter a detention and a Saturday school for calling the teacher a name when he was squeezing her hand. I was mad about that, then I said, that's fine, I'm sure it's just more information for my attorney and their mouths dropped.

I requested my daughter be removed from his class immediately and that was granted.

I am in the process of finding an attorney and will post anything new.

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Kelbie....good luck. I am glad you told them it was just more info for your lawyer. This lets them know you mean business and maybe they'll take action more quickly.

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I think you're on the right track here, kelbie. Now follow through while the incidents are fresh in everyones' minds, especially the classmates. They are surely being subjected to a rationalization right now.

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Contact your doctor, too, to be sure that nothing is broken and, if there is a sprain or whatever there is a record.

If there are prior incidents of harrassment by this teacher, there should be a record of same at the school. Tell your lawyer this; s/he will want to go a hold of those records. Basically, if the school is tolerating this kind of nonsense and is doing nothing about it, you've got a very strong claim.

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Kelbie
Sounds like you made some headway in your meeting and that's great. As others here have said, make sure you follow through with everything and don't let them push this under the rug. This teacher should be fired and with a good lawyer, it just might happen. You and your daughter have my very best.

Go get him girl and thanks for keeping us posted.

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Verbal and Physical abuse by a teacher

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