Dear all who gently replied me;
After a few days i wrote this post, I went our summer house and with support of my loved ones i LEFT HIM.
One of the reasons i stayed with him for so long was, after a few months, i had started taking pills to stay calm against his accusations. The pills made me a stupid Pollyanna but nothing more! Now i am recovering. The best thing is, i accept my wrong choice and this experience and i don't blame anything or anyone for what had happened. I don't even hate him! He is sick. What he was doing was a part of his sickness and i am not a doctor! His mother cried on the phone, everyone felt awful except me and the people around me!
I feel reborn!
So..
Do not even stay a single second with someone like in my experience. Do whatever you can do to get out of it and give your self some time to heal. Once you start respect your own existence, people you meet start to change in that way. The way you treat yourselves, the way you feel about yourselves determine other people's behaviors towards you.
The brain is for free, people! Let's use it!
With love,
A.