I'm sad and depressed. Should I visit my online Pakistani boyfriend?

Reply Tue 1 Sep, 2015 05:48 am
Hi. I really would like someone to help me and give me advice. I’m heartbroken and depressed. I don’t know how to move on. (and sorry that my story is really long…)

I'm 18 years old and I live in Europe. Two years ago, I met this 20 years old Pakistani Pashto boy online and the two of us hit it off and became really close friends. After few months, we began dating 'online' (it probably sounds ridiculous but in my defence, I really did fall for him). We would Skype for hours everyday, play video games and watch same movies together, and after that we'd send each other sweet-nothings on whatsapp all night. it was an exhilarating feeling, being in love and everything seemed perfect.

I really liked him and he said he loved me in so many ways. so I guess I subconsiously let my guard down completely with him. One day he asked me to sext him and sent me a faceless nude picture of himself. He told me he did it out of love and asked me to do the same for him if I trust him. I have never done anything like that in my life, but I loved him a lot and I don’t wanna disappoint him so I did. We planned to meet in the future. I invested a lot of feelings in him and gave him everything he asked.

It was all going well, until few weeks ago, he told me he is going to visit some relatives with his parents in another city so he will be busy for days. And after he came back, he told me something happened during he is in his relative’s house. He told me he got engaged with his first cousin (a 14 yrs old british pakistani) during those days. He told me he was forced by his parents and he only views her as a sister and asked me to stay with him.

I was devasted and sad. After few days of cried on phone and being cold to him, I thought he would comfort me and try to communicate with his parents about his engagement. But instead, he told me he had enough of my depression. Then told me now he gonna offers me two choices, one is accept the facts that he is engaged and stop making situation complicate, the other one is disapper from his life…. I asked him what about his cousin? He told me he will only views her as a sister and make things back to normal once she turns 18, like call off the future wedding.

However, few days ago, he started being cold to me and stop answering my calls, and I asked him why he is acting this way did I do anything wrong, he said to me that after engaged now he feels he is growing feeling for his cousin, and doesn’t view her as a relative anymore, and told me they’ve been flirting with eachothers after engaged thru txt and phone calls. So now he decided to love us both equally, and about who he gonna marry, he gonna leaves it to the future, and asked me to sext him again. And told me it’s allows for a man to loves more than one woman in the same time under his culture and religion…and ask me fly to Pakistan to visit him.
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Reply Tue 1 Sep, 2015 06:02 am
This is not the way to get depression treated. You need a doctor's care.

I guarantee that if you go there, there will be sex. If you are a virgin going there, you won't be when you return. He will overuse the word love and repeat it 24/7 in order to get you to submit to him.

And then when you come home, he will marry this other woman.

You are his masturbatory fantasy. Sorry, but the headless nude shot should have been your first clue in that area. What, pray tell, exactly did you think that was for?

If you go there, that is what will happen. You will still be his plaything, except it will be in person. You know, where pregnancies and STDs can happen. And you will have few to no options if either or both of those things happen to you. You have no idea what his sexual history really is. You don't even know if you're the only girl he sexts. You probably aren't.

Do yourself a favor and interact with men who are a lot closer to home. And stop sending nudes; it puts you in a vulnerable, subordinate position that I predict you will eventually come to regret. You can do better, and screwing this guy in another country is not going to help with your depression. Seek a doctor for that, just as you would if you had a broken leg. This guy does not have a magic dick that will cure you.
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Reply Tue 1 Sep, 2015 06:24 am
There is a very good chance that your private pictures are all over the internet, too.

What kind of man asks his love to send such pictures?

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