respect

Relationships don't make one another each other's property. She's every bit as free to party with her friends as she was befroe she met you. Your mistake is believing that by "being in a relationship" with you, she becomes your property to control and command. You need to grow up and quit trying to control other people. Learn how to control yourself first, in particular your insecurities and immaturities.

She is sneaking off at half 4 in the morning to go to another lads house and I'm meant to trust her. Don't think so mate. I respect your answer but I don't think for one minute thats she is my property. One of these lads is my friend and the other is just some lad she knows for bout a month. When I rang her she told me lies about where she was and told me to f off and turned off the phone. I live with her and its ok for her to sneak out at half 4 in the morning?

What are you two to each other?

SHE is not acting like you have an exclusive romantic relationship with each other.

What do YOU think your relationship is?

It is meant to be a serious relationship. We do live together and there was talk of having a baby. I said it to her that she is living like she is single. I just cant trust her and I think its now that I need to get out of this relationship before we do have a child

Good thinking.

Be sure she does NOT get pregnant by YOU!

Thanks for your advice. I'm definitely not over reacting am I? She has a way of making me feel like I'm crazy and jealous but no one would put up with that **** would they?

By the way she did stay i one weekend and cos I thought she was trying at least i organised a week off to paris. The day I surprised her with this that night she went partying with the same lad that she snuck out of the house to. It's like i'm doing this really nice thing for you and then you go and do that hours after..i just dont understand . If some one done that for me id at least want to thank them by not going off to a party to another lad

The emotions you describe are fine. You have every right to expect what you expect in a relationship....just as she has every right to what she wants from a relationship...

...the question you are asking is about compatibility - are her values compatible with yours? In that area, it would seem not.

...the next question is, how big a deal is it to you? Is it a deal breaker? And by that I don't mean 'if she changes her behaviour, is it a deal breaker (because the answer is obviously 'no').

You can ask her to change her behaviour, but you don't have any right to force her to change her behaviour. And based on her behaviour, you can make decisions about whether or not you want to be with her (ie. you can stand up for your own values, respect your own emotions, etc - which you have every right to do)

You can't control another person, but you can control, and respect yourself, your emotions, and your relationship needs.

The others are right that you dont get to control her (unless she wants you too), but you are right that you have a right to have your feelings respected in this union.

Why are you with a woman who does not care about your feelings and who lies to you about important stuff and acts like a kid rather than an adult? Cant you do better?