Reply
Sat 8 Aug, 2015 07:36 pm
k this is kind of long so bare with me. This all originated probably
November 2014. Me and the wife getting in mild arguments about one of
my family members she had monthly one on one contact with to let my
daughter spend the day with them. Long story short on that. They hate
eachother. She began to resent me because of ideas in her head that I
took the family members side. Was not the case but that's how she
felt. Well the wife does not normally ever talk to guys, or girls
really for that matter. We lived a crazy youth and through to our mid
20's then zapped into home bodies. Well out of nowhere she starts
talking to a "friend" she has known forever. We will call him shoe.
Every other day I hear about shoe this or shoe that. Now, my wife
travels a thoisand miles one way every month to our home town for ten
days to work. Crazy I know but the money her profession brings her is
to much to pass up. No,nothing stripper or anything related to that in
anyway. Well it seemed like every time she would be on her way there a
huge argument would pop out of thin air, over an assortment of
reasons. The month of January was really bad for us. During the first
three weeks of January it was shoe this and shoe that. Bluetooth
connected to the car stereo and every five seconds it said "text
message from shoe", literally heard his name more then the words to
the song. Snap chats from him that werent checked until i went away.
Hang outs while im not there. Well right before she left I was told in
a nutshell it's the family member or me. Mind you again, the family
member is a basket case. But I love my wife so literally while she was
on the way to our hometown I called and disconnected from that family
member until they could learn to control themselves. Here's where the
foolery starts. About three days into her work trip she starts up with
Insta gram pictures of her going to sporting events with her
girlfriends and hanging out with people and doing this and that,
sharing them on Insta gram for the whole world to see. Well I didn't
get any calls, not even to argue, for about five days. So I checked
the bank statements. I noticed charges for three nights at this bar
that we used to go to. Well when she finally did call me, sure enough
shoe was brought up. I finally had enough and told her straight up, I
don't care about shoe, I don't care what he's doing, I don't care how
he's doing. I don't care about anything that has to do with him. I've
heard his name enough so much so to where it replaced the lyrics of a
song on the radio from you talking to him so much. I was the asked are
you jealous of shoe?" I immediately said, don't know, should I be? She
told me no. But it was a flat no. And immediately I got a feeling in
my gut that something was going on. I hung the phone up to collect my
thoughts. When I called back I asked who she went to the bar with. She
said her girlfriend. I asked why didn't she post any Insta gram pics,
especially because one of the nights was for the superbowl. There was
no answer. Just didn't make sense. So i talked for a couple more
minutes and came at it straight forward and asked if she had seen
shoe. First response was no. Then yes, he came over to her parents
house to say hi and look at cars. I asked,"so living three hours away
he just stopped by"? She said no, she invited him. I asked if that was
it she said yes. I asked again and she then says that they, along with
her sister, went to the bar once , to have drinks. My mind got to
blurred to really dig anymore then that. Because while I'm cutting
family out of my family for us, she is planning dates with a guy who
I've never met and didn't really know anything about. Well things
erupted. I got his number when I got off work and told him to
screenshot me the last couple days of conversation with her. He didn't
know how to screenshot..... a thirty year old man doesn't know how to
screenshot. And of course the wife deleted the whole conversation. She
swore she told him they could talk ever again because she loved me to
much. Well the next morning he sends me the screenshot. It's her
saying I'm freaking out because they hung out once. Shoe Asks her if
they shouldn't talk anymore and she says " laugh out loud, yeah for a
while I guess." So there was yet another lie. Well time passes, we
make up. Have serious talks that everyone should have. She doesn't
seem to be talking to shoe. We go to vegas together for like a week,
have a great time. Unfortunately I've always lived by the notion of
your gut never lies to you. And not dwelling by any means I just had
this unignorable feeling still. Well a couple months go by and we have
another fight over something ridiculous, while she's taking her work
trip. Well I go to check my mail and her account is up. I see google
hangouts with my name on top and then shoe right under me. It was
saved from the night I found everything out. We'll it was her talking
to him, literally while she was on the phone telling me, getting the
story straight of how they only hung out once. Well it was a clear
blueprint of their story. So. I had saved the texts we had the night
she told me everything. I didn't want to approach her with accusations
this time. So I cross referenced times pics were sent to me, times
texts were sent between them and so on. I called and asked about it.
Asked how many times they hung out. She said once, I said are you
sure. She said yes. I threw out the hangouts message. Well.... that
turned me into being a sob. Untrusting, snooping and all that.
Immediate defense mode. Well even then she denied it until I hit her
with the times and dates. I said at least do me the courtesy of not
insulting my itelligence and tell me this was a blueprint for a lie.
She said yes. I asked how many times then. We'll she told me two times
and said it was just the two of them. So now it was official, it was a
planned date. I knew that it was going to only raise to two when I
asked her, I just wanted to see if she had the guts to say it. I asked
what else did you do, where else did you go, did you go to his house.
Naturally no to all those questions. I flipped, not nearly as bad as
the first time, but I flipped. Cooled down and asked of there was
anything else I would ever find out in the future? She said "no. I
swear".... just like the first time. We'll things got really good and
have been. She sent me a video today however of her using a certain
playtoy on a certain bodypart. I asked when did you take it, she said
it was old. I said how old. She said about four or five months. Now as
a guy that's not something I forget but I let it go. We'll before all
this started she had been taking a lot of nude pictures to send to
this modeling company, so she says. She sent me maybe five of forty.
Well the modeling thing never took off. She sent me one of them again
today and I noticed the picture was taken just around the time the
shoe came into the picture. Now I don't know if I got some of them as
a, hey, I sent you the pictures kind of thing. Now keep in mind also,
she's never lied to me up until now. And this was something that was
covered up but she just got caught. It's almost all gone, but there's
still a small gut feeling. Could be nothing, but everyone I've had has
been right. My questions to everyone. Did she cheat, possibly still
cheating. Did she take the pictures for him? Should I be worried still
even though everything seems great? Signs? Ways to check her phone or
computer? Anything helps guys.
I don't know. I might agree or not, but I can't read a wall of type.
My gut feeling is you need to switch to decaf when you type.