1
   

Distance Between Modifiers / Words That Related To Each Other

 
 
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 09:45 am
Hello, everyone.

Recently, I have been trying to improve my independent clauses. I'm not exactly sure how to describe the problem I've been having, but one of the main things I've been concentrating on is the distance between words that modify other words.

For example, I used to write things like this:

"Dave agreed to accompany an incredibly wealthy and successful businessman named Joseph on a hunting trip."

Now, I think it much clearer like this:

"Dave agreed to accompany Joseph, an incredibly wealthy and successful businessman, on a hunting trip."

This might not be a great example, but what I am trying to show is that I want to get away from sentences where there is too much distance between the modifier and the word that is being modified.

In the first sentence, for example, there is too much distance between "accompany" and "Joseph".

Is there a word or term for this? Does anyone have any advice? Are there any rules to follow?

Any help would be hugely appreciated.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 299 • Replies: 3
No top replies

 
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 10:06 am
@ClarkKent77,
Yea Clark, good example of commas to clarify. In this case more nearly necessary
0 Replies
 
InfraBlue
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 10:49 am
I think the first sentence is fine the way it's written. It's clear and unambiguous.

There's a difference in nuance between the original sentence and the rewrite.
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 11:11 am
@InfraBlue,
Blue you're wrong here...

Quote:
"Dave agreed to accompany an incredibly wealthy and successful businessman named Joseph on a hunting trip."
My own instant reaction, "But you're addressing Dale on a Hopeless Adventure; that is you forgot to cap 'hunting' and 'trip' "
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

deal - Question by WBYeats
Drs. = female doctor? - Question by oristarA
Let pupils abandon spelling rules, says academic - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Please, I need help. - Question by imsak
Is this sentence grammatically correct? - Question by Sydney-Strock
"come from" - Question by mcook
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Distance Between Modifiers / Words That Related To Each Other
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 08/20/2019 at 01:00:24