Irish Lady -
I think your husband is one of those parents we discussed recently in the thread regarding the fight breaking out in the dance recital.
Some people see their kids as "their second chance to be . . . . ." and push, push, push. They eventually push them right out of their lives.
I'm glad you can see the problem so early on, and a good way to start would be to get yourselves into some family counseling so you and your husband can start sorting through whatever insecurities or inadequacies your husband is trying to "fix" through pushing your child to be whatever it is your husband feels he failed at being.
However, your husband sounds like one of those "control freak," "rule with an iron fist," "women are second class citizens who must obey me" types who would never lower himself to seek help. This is very troubling.
I'd give him a chance to clean up his act, but just one. If he gets any more emotionally abusive, belittling or controlling, I'd take my child and leave or the cycle will continue into your son's life when he's a father as well.
The buck stops here.
Best of luck you all of you.
*hugs*
I wish I could say he'd be open to the idea of counseling but I just don't see it. I would have to catch him in the right mood but that wouldn't guarantee he would actually go. I tried talking to him some today, he's been giving me the cold shoulder for the last two or three days, and he claimed nothing was wrong. When I asked why he was barely speaking to me he stated that right there is what was wrong...I push and he wants to get as far away from me as possible! Is it pushing to want to know why someone isn't speaking to you, I think I have a right to know what I "may have done" He was gone all day yesterday with his buddies golfing and then playing poker came home and went to sleep, meanwhile I still had both kids to run after and a house to clean. I get so bored that when he's home I want us to be able to spend time together whether it's in the yard or going somewhere I don't care. But lately it's the same when he's here, he sleeps most of the day cause he stays awake at night (always had that problem) and I have to worry about keeping the kids quiet so he won't get up about that and wonder what kind of mood he's gonna be in when he does get up. Usually I'm already in a funk. And now I don't even care to speak to him, the next conversation will be started by him!
How 'bout talking to a pastor/member of the clergy?
(I personally don't like churches/religion but I admit that they are very important to a lot of peopleand some clergy are great counselors).
Sounds like there's more going on in this marriage than his parenting skills (or lack thereof.)
The bottom line is that we can't control anyone's behavior but our own.
He's not going to change any more than you are going to change.
You can either choose to accept his personality/behavior. That's no one's call but your own.
Unfortunately we often start asking ourselves these questions after we've attached ourselves to these people with marriage, or even more unfortunately with children.
You alone can decide what you feel is best for you and your child.
Good luck!
One thing that needs to be kept in mind if you decide to stick around with the grumpy old man, your son with believe this is the way a family should be. And if you are not happy, than maybe your son isn't either.
Also about potty training don't push him. I promise if you let him show you on his own he is a big boy the results are much less stressful.
