wife spent there separet night with anthere man

Having seen the number of views...I think that many people wonder if you are a troll. Your writing lends itself to someone 20-30 years younger than a man in his 40's - 50's.

not à troll dont even no what that is ?just à hurt man looking for an answer and help

Do both yourself and your wife a favor and go to rehab. The first job you've got is to get clean. Then worry about the rest of it.

PS vikorr, a lot of people have trouble with autocorrect, which I think may have been happening here.

Hi duck. Has your drug use ended? Have you been clean for a year or more?

If not, sort that out first.

im clean ! i need help dealing with this and how to no if She is being honest .even with the addiction it's not a reason to cheat on your spouse !
you guys think she screwed him or was it emotional affair? help me figure this out please. so I no what to beleave !

When you stopped using, did you work with someone to help your friends and family?

If not, get someone now. This process isn't for amateurs and this site does not give professional advice.

If yes, go back to that counsellor.

Only your wife knows if she cheated - not us or you for that matter.
If she's willing to work on your marriage, you both should go to counseling
together.
Good luck!

I'm only asking your opinion? yes I am in counseling and worked with them to get off drugs ! she is not willing to go to a marriage counselor

Would she attend counselling if part of it was to assist with your recovery process?

no she didn't and is not involved in it now ! she was a virgin when we married and has never done anything else to hurt me was a perfect wife up till that .I don't no what to believe. it's eating me apart and I just want to no what your opinion is .was it emotional or physical? what do you think

Our opinions really don't matter.

Ask her. In a NON-accusatory manner. As in, during that time when you spent a few nights at ___'s house, did anything happen?

Be prepared for an answer that you might not like. But if you really, absolutely, oh my God I will never sleep well again until I find out want to know, then have at it.

Or maybe wonder forever and don't ask.

Or maybe split the difference and get some counseling. And try to get her to come along with you.

What's with the focus on her virginity ALL THAT TIME AGO? She is not the same woman as before. God knows she has probably been thru a lot with you and your drug use. Sounds like she's fed up with her past (past life with you) and is going on.

You need to find out what she wants to do. She owes you some honesty.

Get someone to help you talk to her, like a friend, parent, counselor.

the virginity is to show the morals she has (its one of the greatest gifts a woman can give a man and I cherished it )had .she doesn't cuss ,drink or do drugs .yes she did stand by Me thru my addiction and went thru hell with me. that still does not give a reason to cheat on me. I don't blame her for leaving I respect het for it .it's what woke me up and the reason I'm drug free now !she didn't have to turn to anthere man which only ruined or marriage and caused me to be tormented and to wonder for the rest of my life.it ruined or sex life (I even have trouble performing now )
the point is not my drug addiction cause its been gone I just wanted a woman's perspective and opinion if you think she had sex with him or not ? I love her anyway and will move on even if she did .I just want to no the truth so I can deal with it .how can I get her to admit it if she did or how can I get her to tell me if she did ?how can I no if she is lieing ? your right she is a different person now it's like I don't no her at all anymore. give me some clues please. your opinion is all I a ask.no she want talk to anyone she only gets angry !

Then go to counseling alone, if she won't go with you, and get some tools to deal with this.

And, I repeat, our opinions on whether she sat and played cards with this guy, or slapped him, or swung from a chandelier naked with him are just that - opinions. We do NOT know the facts. Only they do. Getting a vote on whether they did the horizontal tango is utterly meaningless.