is it my fault?

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Not sure what category to put this in, as It isnt about a romantic relationship but more about my family...

I'm not sure if anyone of you will remember my problems just under a month ago, about the guy that i was living was a severe pot smoker, and also got violent towards me... well to cut the longest story to the shortest story

I got out of that relatioship and that apartment. What ended up happening was my parents that i have not spoken to in over four years (because they were also violent and psycholigically abusive towards me) andmy brothers ended up all helping me out. I thought it may have been the perfect opportunity to mend what had happened between me and my family and we all could forgive each other and get along...

Well they helped get my stuff out of the apartment i was in, then i ended up staying with my older brother who told me dont worry about rent, just help him out with groceries and stuff so i can save up to get a place of my own...

By the way my brother and i had a bad relationship in the past, and now i thought he was trying to do the big bro thing and look after his little sister. All i wanted to do was live by myself, just have my own space.

In the last three weeks my older brother got fired from his job, (this is about the one hundredth job he has got fired from), he is also be sued by the government for around $20,000.00 for money that he owes them when he was on benefits before and never told them he was working. So now he cant go back on benefits. Then a bout a week ago he asks me for rent for the time that i have been staying with him, In that time i had bought over $250.00 worth of groceries. My mother tells me that i should stay there for atleast six months and help my brother out through this time... (by the way the reason why i left me ex was because of a very very severe pot habit) since my brother lost his one hundredth job, he would stay up late every single night smoking pot and not get out of bed until after 2pm... Now thats not my problem, but i dont want to be there to help my brother out so he can sit around smoking drugs and sleeping all day.

Any way, I go to dinner with my ex, This is the guy i just left, because his mum has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and he just wanted to see how i was doing. So i go to dinner with him and i was talking about the situation with my brother etc etc...

Somehow my brother found out about this, i dont know how but anyway last night i was in the kitchen cooking dinner like i have for every single night i have been there, my brother starts talking to me about my parents.

the conversation goes along about how I bought a car real cheap through one of my father's colleagues years ago and my brother was saying i will always owe mum and dad for that. I said i dont owe them anything and i dont have a problem with that, because they have helped me out i dont mind driving them places or loaning it to them. Ben (my bro) says if i had a problem with that then why did i bring it up and whinge to him about it? I said i didnt have a problem with this, he says "yes i do" i said no i dont, then the arguement started about it all, and i said to my brother i am not arguing about this, this is silly, I dont want to talk to you, told him to cook his own dinner and went to my bedroom... he barges in and says i am talking about this and not running away like i always do... I mean go figure, it was a nothing arguement anyway, i didnt have a problem... i said please leave me alone, he said no and starts lecturing me, saying look at me, i have an attitude problem, i said i dont, and on and on went the arguement. I said i am going out if you want to talk about something i will when i get back, i went to leave and he was standing in the doorway and wouldnt let me past then he pushed me back in the room and stood and yelled at me two inches from my face.

I am a pretty sensitive person, i cry easily and after all the mess and everything lately, i just started crying then my brother told me i have serious mental problems, i said i am not talking about this and asked him to please leave me alone, i dont have a problem, i dont see what the problem is

He said i did have a problem, i had a problem with paying him rent, i said what the hell are you talking about? and he said that i didnt want to pay him rent and that my ex called him and told him this, which i never told hoim anything, i said i dont know what you're talking about

then he tells me that he paid rent since he was 14 living with mum and dad when he was in school and that i have never had it as bad as he has, then he tells me that i cant do anything on my own, thats why i moved in with my ex, i told my brother i moved in with my ex over two years ago, i wanted to live with him then but now i want to live on my own. He said then go to leave his place

I said fine and went up to leave, and he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me baclk and said no we are going to sort this out, i was crying on got on my cell phone and called my mum and asked her to come over and she went ballistic at me calling me an immature girl cos i wouldnt talk to my brother...

Then my brother was telling me that where was his cheap car? That i have had everything really easy, and i have never been able to live my life on my own

I managed to get out of the flat, but i went back later to get some stuff, my brother wouldnt let me in until i would talk about it and listen to him. I didnt understand what he was trying to say, i didnt understand where the arguement was going.

I called my grandma then because she was the only person i told that i didnt want to pay my brother rent, and asked if she told him, she said no she didnt, so i dont know what caused this, then she asked what was going on and told her then she asked if she could speak to my brother, this is when he let me into the apartment.

So i went in to pack up my things and my brother said no, just go now, forget all my stuff i have just blown it and to get out now, i said no i am not leaving without getting some of my things first he said no, to just go

thats when my dad walks in and grabs me by the back of my neck and marches me through the apartment, and said i had to get rent money for my brother and to come back and then i could get my stuff, i said to my dad i dont trust you, how do i know you will let me back in, he said c'mon its me, i am giving you my word, my dad beat me up in the past and i didnt believe him, i said no then he pushed me out of the door and out of the apartment and down the stairs...

I ran. I went to my friend's house, he said he would come with me. So i get the money, and my friend (matt) says to give it to him, which i do. we walk into the apartment to get my stuff and as i am grabbing stuff my brother says times up and to go, just leave it all and go just to get out of his house. My dad and my brother went nuts at me for bringing other people into the arguement, ie my friend, my grandma, and told him that i play all innocent and like i am the one being hurt when i am mental and play everyone, and i am just acting and manipulating the whole arguement

Matt (my friend) says whatever, lets just get her things and get this all over and done with, my brother says not without his money and my dad said that was the condition i came back in here... Matt says no, she is getting her things then he is getting the money...

ben said its his place and how dare matt stand up to him, dad comes and grabs me and says it time to leave and starts pulling me by the arm, matt says no, pulls out the money then my brother went super nuts grabbed the money and starting shoving us both out without our things with my dad backing up my brother

The next thing.

The police walk in.

Dad is sitting there telling the police, that i have serious emotional problems, that i manipulate and coerce people and i play all innocent, and that he never touched me, and ben says that he has never hit a woman, never has and never will.

Matt helps me grab my stuff while the police are talking to my dad and brother. I just get in my car and drive away

I drove 3 hours to my grandmother's place. I am scared because she will tell my parents where i am staying, my brother still has a whole heap of my stuff and some of my stuff is at my parents because of when they got me away from my ex.

I dont know why my brother did what he did, and why my dad backed him up. I called my mum when i was driving to my grandma's and she was yelling at me and said i am a liar and never to speak to her or anyone again...

I never lied. I didnt do anything wrong. I was going to pay my brother just not the amount he was asking without getting some reimbursement for the groceries, and anyways that wasnt the original agreement...

I feel like crap, i feel like why does my family do this? why do they gang up on me and call me mental all the time? why do they lie and make up stuff and tell me stuff from the past that never happened or didnt happen the way they retell it all...

Why do families do this? or is mine just completely messed up? Is it me? am i this horrible manipulating person? i was helping my brother out, i cooked for him, i cleaned, i just didnt want to give him a months worth of rent in cash, because he is a severe pot smoker, has scammed so much money out of me and everyone in the past, and i didnt want to be involved in all his mess after everything i have been going through.

I am the one in the wrong, is this my fault? should i have just given him all the money, and all the groceries, could this have been avoided? why do my family hate me so much?

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I think you need to get away from all of them!
Do you have a job or prospects for jobs? You may need some counseling as well to deal with all these issues. It couldn't hurt. The hardest thing to do is to put your past behind you and move on but I think that's going to be your best bet. Stop trying to figure them out and what makes them act the way they do and concentrate on yourself and building your self-esteem up! You are only responsible for yourself! Good luck!

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Yeah i have a job, a fairly decent one too.

I think my brother just wanted to ruin me, also in the fight he said that it was my fault that when he was 18 he got kicked out of home and had to go live in the country...

I think it was my brother's way of getting back at me, he blames everyone else for making his life so hard, and i think he was enjoying the power trip of saying "this is my place" now get out

But he wouldnt let me have any of my things he was even holding onto my cell phone and hand bag and still telling me to go...

I dont understand why though my parents and he all back each other up, and lie to me and the cops and make me seem like this huge monster

I have worked my arse off for everything in my life, no one has given me anything

I think my brother just thinks i get it all to easy

But i have had such a hard life he just doesnt get it.

Its like they all have some vandetta against me, my brother has to destroy my life, my parents just think i am spychotic and its their sole purpose to get me fixed...

My dad was in tears when i left, saying why was i going crazy? and please just go and get some help as thats all they have wanted to do for me...

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Lilly
Please do yourself a favor and get as far away from all of them as you can and never ever contact them again. Start a new life for yourself and keep them out of it. I have never read a story such as yours and my heart truly goes out to you.

Best of luck to you.

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Lilly -

One word - MOVE!!!! (and as far away as possible)

These people are toxic. Make a clean break and try to make some semblance of a normal life for yourself. As long as they're in your life you will always have this drama and abuse.

And to answer your question, no, it's not your fault. You're not responsible for these people's actions, they are!

Get rid of 'em all and mean it!

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Lilly--

I agree with other A2K feminine sages. You don't need your family's vicious parlor games.

Seeing a therapist might be helpful in making the break. After all, you'd prefer to avoid another abusive love interest that reminds you of home.

As for getting your belongings, just move one step at a time. If your brother (or any of the rest of them) try to browbeat you, grit your teeth and pack faster. If necessary you can ask for a police escort while you pack.

Good luck.

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I have seen families rip each other apart and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! Please do not beat yourself up anymore just take the next step in making your life better. If they come around great, if not so be it. How long has all this been going on? Is it recent or long term? Either way save your sanity and cut ties until you get your self-esteem built back up. Good luck!

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Its been going on my whole life, as far back as I can remember.

I guess maybe thats why i consider it my fault, that i am this awful person they portray me to be.

I dont understand why they all gang up against me. In the last fight my dad wanted me to get money for my brother, which is what i did. But as soon as my brother said no forget your stuff and get out, my dad was shoving me and my friend out. Why couldnt my dad just say to my brother, let her get her stuff and then she will be gone for good? why did he have to jump on the band wagon too? Then my mum said i am a liar and yelled at me too?

But they all just back each other up and make me out to be some psycho. My brother knows how to stir me up and I was crying so much when he was yelling at me right in my face that i was trembling, i was scared, and he was asking me what drugs i was on,"look at you, you have serious problems do you think this normal behaviour?"

When i was 13 my mum and my dad and brothers all got into a huge fight with me, they were treating me similarly to my previous post, and i was scared and crying so they took me to the ermegency section of the local hospital, told them i was out of control and left me there.

The doctors and psychiatrist saw there was nothing mentally/physically wrong with me, and called my parents to come get me. They said no. They are not getting me until i am admitted to a psych unit until i am better. Two weeks later, i was still in the childrens ward of the hospital, sorting out where i was going to go with the social services people because the nurses on called them because my parents refused to get me.

Because there were no forster homes available, and they couldnt put me in a community home because i had been private schools my whole life and wouldnt be street wise enough, i got sent home and nothing about the situation was ever dealt with.

I was continuously taken out of school to go see psychiatrist and psychologist and my mother would take me to so many different ones because they never told her what she wanted to here.

I just want to get my things. I think i got most things out of my brother's apartment. I have some stuff in his garage and some at my parent's place. But they will hold it from me until i apologise for my actions and get myself admitted to some therapy unit. I know how my family operates.

Matt my friend was telling me they went off at me for bringing other people into the arguement because it means that i have someone on my side, before they would tell me anything, hit me, stir me up so much, until i cant stop crying, and then tell me i am insane and have serious problems... they didnt want matt there because they couldnt treat me however they wanted and lie and make up stuff like they always do.

I remember once i was in a carpark having a huge arguement with my older brother and mother, they were accusing me of stuff that i did wheni was 5 years old, and going on and on, i just started walking away and my mother says "look at you, this is what we are talking about, go on throw a tantrum, look you cant even stand here and talk, look at you, youi're out of control, go on throw a tantrum" and i was nearly on the other side of the car park just walking away... I didnt want to talk, because their idea of talking is sitting there telling me what all my problems are, even ones they have fictionalised from 18 years ago.

I think when my brother wanted to "lets sort this out" in the fight the other day, he wanted me to live with him for the next six months, paying half his rent and doing and living my life exactly how he was telling me... when i told him about places i was looking at or areas i wanted to live, he would criticise me and say no, that the arrangement of me staying at his place was to find somwhere i could set myself up for good or for a long while.

I found a place that had half price rent in a very expensive suburb just outside sydney because they were renovating the building, and that the noise would be really bad, which would only be during hours when i would be at work, The lease would be just under twelve months and my brother gave me this huge lecture about how i will have to move again in another 12 months and thats not the agreement.

I am also finnishing my degree part time while i am working. I was sleeping on the floor in my brother's spare room with my stuff all in bags and living out a couple of drawers, every time i would come home late he would ask "where have you been?" then in the fight the other day he said that i have been seeing me ex every day, the one they had to get my stuff out of his apartment, which is rubbish. I work in law firm, we work late, and sometimes we have drinks, or i might go to the library to study after work... I didnt understand why he was accusing me of so much, why he was saying i am such a bad person.

I was planning on going on a ski trip in a few weeks with some friends, all my ski gear is at my parents place...could you possibly imagine they would let me have it? They would think i am going on a ski trip with my ex.

They dont think i have any friends, or any life. They couldnt possibly understand i have a great job. Executive assistant to one of the head lawyers of the law firm where i work, and they actually love me at work. They couldnt believe that i have other things to do, that i have a life.

So getting my stuff back is going to be so hard. I was thinking of just breaking into my brothers garage. he sleeps all day so i could even do it in the middle of the day.

My ski stuff is in the garden shed at my parents place, and i wouldnt have a problem with the dog as he loves me...

I just dont know what to do, I am having silly thoughts about breaking into places just to get my stuff back...

This is ridiculous. I feel ridiculous, they police came up to me after the fight and asked if i was on any medications!!!!!!!!!!!

I just have had enough. I want my things, and i am sick of making plans, i had some money saved up, gave half of it to my brother, and now i dont have my things, so probably am going to just have to replace it all.

I just feel like i work so hard, and i just keep getting nowhere. At the moment, i catch a three hour one way tip to and from work because i am staying with my grandma, i sit at my desk at the end of day and think about where i am going home too and i just feel like what have i done to deserve this. Maybe my parents are right. I am 23 years old, i have nothing to say for myself, I am homeless, with only half of my things and no way of getting the rest.

I am just sick of this.

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It sounds like you have a good head on you, just people like to mess with it. I really wish I had the answers for you but I don't. I don't know what would make parents/siblings treat you like that. You definitely don't deserve it, no one does. Try contacting the cops to see what they could do about helping you get your stuff. DON'T go get them on your own, that's what they want you to do so they can try and really get you in trouble. What does your Grandma say about all this? Is there any way she could help get your stuff? Even if you don't get your things back I would just wash my hands of it and go on that trip anyway, I'm sure you could rent ski's and maybe borrow a friends suit. It might be just what you need right now to get away and forget about this for awhile.

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By the way...your parents/sibling have the problem. Stay away completely and I bet they'll be tearing each other down since they don't have you there. You were just an easy punching bag for them cause you let their crap get to you and they saw it.

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My grandma tells me that I have to stop fighting with everyone

and that she is sick of hearing about all this mess. And i told her i feel exactly the same.

She said to stay with her, while i am looking for a place, I also have a kitten which she is looking after for me.

I called last night before i left work to make sure he was okay (ie, the cat) and grandma just said dont worry about things anymore just do what i have to do, and not worry about everything.

I also called my other grandmother, my dad's mother. I spoke to her for the first time in four years when iwas staying at my parents place after all the mess with my ex. And told her that i was thrown out again. She also said i have to stop fighting everyone

I wanted to tell her, I dont want to fight anyone, its not just me... but she didnt listen. She asked where i was staying and she that's good. And she will meet me for lunch at the end of the week.

Now can you imagine what would happen if my dad got a call from his mum about this? My parents would go out of their way to make my life hell

But they cant anymore, because i have my own job, the car is in my name, I have some of my things and the fact that their parents are helping me and being nice to me, they will hate

I know that my parents want to make me feel like rubbish, they dont want anyone there to help me, they want it to be so i am stuck on my own with only them to turn to, so i can crawl back to them, and get myself fixed in some psych ward.

I dont know why.

My grandmother (the one i am staying with) said to me once that I grew up in a very volatile house. Once when i was at lunch with all my aunties and they were asking about my degree and where i was living, my aunties were saying some of us have it pretty lucky. And my grandma told them all "just stop right there. I will tell you something. She has worked so hard for everything she has, she hasnt been given any of it, and none of it was through luck".

She wakes me up every morning at 5 am, and dont get home until 10pm at night. i think she respects me.

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The sooner you get disentangled from that mess the better. There are many "Disfunctional" families, some more than others. It's hell on the family members, and hell on anyone close to the family.

I'm dealing with a much more mild form of family hell in the form of my wife's family. It's a "matriarch(sp?)" My wife's dad died when she was a kid and the mother quickly assumed the role of martyr. By playing off the father's death, she's acheived god-like status among the family.

In my 37 years I've never met anymore more controlling than this women. I almost broke it off with my wife, (then my girlfriend), after the first time I met the mother. My wife transformed from an intelligent strong women, into a cowering little scared girl right before my eyes. I was literally 'creeped out' by the change.

My wife refused to deal with this bizarre relationship which was interfering in our lives to a massive degree, so I broke up with her. Then she agreed to get counseling. It's nearly a decade later and things have gotten a little better, but as I type this the MIL's in the apartment on a 9 day visit SHE INVITED HERSELF to, and she's telling us every freaking move to make in our own apartment. And she takes it upon herself to invite my wife's siblings for overnights as well. It's as if once she sets foot in a door, any door, the place is part of her kingdom.

I almost blew my stack tonight, but I'm trapped like a rat in a cage because if I walk, guess where my wife will move off to and guess who will be raising our son and doing her best to stomp out his self-esteem? The mother in law.

But you're not married to your family, you have no kids between them. You have a good job, and judging by the way you write, a good head on your shoulders. You're free. Take FULL advantage of it. Move away and take away their 'fun'. It seems as if they've grown fond of using you to take out their frustrations.

I know it can't be easy, but you really ARE free, you have no legal ties to these people, only miserable emotional ties.

I wish you the best of luck. You sound like an interesting person.

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You have at least two family members that seem to care! And they give good advice...even though you don't start the fight, if you're there that's all it takes. Take yourself out of the entire picture where they are concerned. You're right, your parents/sibling can't make your life hell...if you don't allow them to. Imagine how pissed they would be if when you ever did see them again you didn't let their words make you cry. Or better yet you didn't EVER see them again. Again, they would probably turn on each other. I have found that when people are being their meanest if you either say something so totally nice or completely ignore them it pisses them off to no end. And if you continue that action eventually they will give up on you and go to someone they can manipulate. I really hope something I've said can help, but sometimes just talking with someone who doesn't have a bias either way really helps. Smile

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It has really helped, just letting it all out, and just telling it how it is, or atleast my side of the story...

It is soo fustrating, watching them lie and them all backing up each other, i just hate it with more lies.

Last year when i went to the snow, there was a huge fight, my ex was meant to come but when my ex told my mum she was a manipulating lying bitch, she went to our apartment and got all my things out then drove to the snow.

My brother was meant to come with us too, but he didnt finnish work until late.

My brother calls my ex, says he isnt doing the drive and to come with him.

The next day at the snow, my mum is saying i manipulated everyone, and my brother said i planned it all to leave him behind thats why he had to call my ex because he didnt want to do a 6 hour drive late at night by himself, mum said that we didnt have to go that early to the snow we could have waited for my brother and taken him with us, that was my way of manipulating the situation

Then again later in the argument, It was me manipulating people to get my things out of the apartment and for some psycho reason i called my brother at lunch time that day to ask if he would bring my ex with him...and my mother said that i was messaging him all the way on my phone driving down to the snow, and that i planned it that way.

This was all in about 10 minutes.

I just stood there not saying anything to these people. My mum was backing up my brother when he contradicted himself so blatantly...

I just shook my head and said whatever, and they told me this was my attitude problem...

I dont know what i will say to my dad's mum at lunch. She said she has quite a soft spot for me and has been worried about me these last few years, where she hasnt seen me, she said do i remember sitting on the stool in the kitchen as a little girl while she taught me how to cook...

My parents will say anything to her, they will tell her i am manipulating her too, and that really hurts that they want me to be so isolated and cut everyone out of my life.

I said to the police after the fight. I was quite calm when i spoke to him and used lots of fancy words, the cops said my name wasnt on the lease at my brothers, i said i am really glad its not. I dont want to stay there, I have absoloutely no intention of doing that, I wanted to leave and he wouldnt let me, he was standing in the door blocking me and pushing me so i wouldnt leave and yelling at me, then when i asked for my things he said no i couldnt have any of it. I told the police man that all my things are still in bags and there are some things still in boxes in the garage. thats all i want and i will be on my way, I wish nothing more to do with these people. I told him that they have hit me in the past, the police said they have no eveidence of this, and said i beg to differ, and the stunned look on the police man's face when i told him to go to a particular police station and they have photos and reports of the last fight with my father. He asked why wasnt there an AVO for against my father, i said because when i had to go and see the local magistrate i was on a four week exercise with the army reserves and being the Brigadier's (one star general's) nominated and preferred driver i couldnt make the appointed time for the AVO Hearing.

I then proceeded to tell the police man, that they will tell you i am psychotic, and dillusion and i have severe emtional problems. I said that is not the case and that i came straight out of an abusive relationship and thats why i am with my brother.

He asked why am i with my brother if i dont want to be, i said because he cant go on benefits because he owes the government so much money, and he doesnt have a job, and my parents want me to help pay his rent. I said i am awaiting a response from a real estate agent on a rental propery i have applied for on Monday morning....

Then my brother wont have any income and no one to help pay his rent, thats why i guess he is holding my property, and getting my father to back him up, so he can turn to them and blame it all on me why he has been left so high and dry with the rent, and then my parents will undoubtedly pay him and he is an angel although he is scamming more money from them and i am the complete she devil.

The cops just looked at me stunned, i think. then he said we havent heard the other side of the story, i said well i can tell you that right now, I am psychotic and dellusional, i have manipulated everyone, it was my fault and totally fictionalised the fights with my ex and i just manipulate and use everyone. I was out of control in the apartment and thats why they were trying to through me out until i had calmed down... I told him to go talk to my parents, and that they will aslo say they have always been there for me but they are tired of the way I abuse the relationship.

I said there is no relationship there hasnt been for four years, This is the first time i have seen my parents and have had anything to do with them in that time...

I just walked away and got in my car and drove.

I wonder what my dad and brother said when the police man went to talk to him,

Do you think i was right?

Now, all i need is my stuff back. When i get a place, matt my friend, he lives a few doors down from my parents, says he will go to get it.

I also have told my grandparents, that i am not to call them again, but i need my things. So i have three of their parents that know they are holding my property including some gifts they have given me...

If it worse comes to worse, I will just send my grandparents in as reinforcements to get my things, i dont think they will like that. My brother also went ballistic at me for bringing the police into the argument but i think the neighbour underneath my brothers place heard me fall down the stairs or something, I have no idea how they got there or who called them.

Briarwizard- your mother in law sounds like my mother, dominating and controlling. When i went to my grandmother's place she said that my mother/her daughter would yell at her is she knew i was staying there, so we wont tell anyone, shall we? lets just keep it a secret between us...

My grandmother has to hide her granddaughter in her own house because of her daughter??

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Briarwizard - Some advice, i had from my cousin who married into an greek family with a very controlling mother in-law... Move far far far away across several oceans, and where she cant afford to travel, if you only see her once every couple of years, it might make it easier.

Thats what my cousin had to do to get away from her MIL that just told her what names her children were going to be called when she was planning her marriage when she didnt want kids for atleast 5 years after the wedding

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Lilly, I nearly laughed out loud when I read your post.

It just so happens my MIL's 's a Greek just like your cousin's! And from the stories I've heard about her mother, she's 'mild' by comparision.

Right now we're 1200 miles away so the visits are only about once a year. But in addition to marital troubles, I suffer from severe anxiety and depression that medication and therapy only partially relieves, so even the once a year visits are troublesome. They're by far the longest weeks of the year.

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Lilly, are you the only daughter in your family?

Because in my wife's family, she's the only daughter and the brothers get preferential treatment. In the 'family structure' there's a clear 'pecking order'. From highest power to nearly no power: Adult males, adult females, male children, female children. And to the mothers at least, the definition of "child" extends to their ADULT children and anyone they marry. (So I have the status in my MIL's mind of male CHILD despite being 37 years old, hence I should be totally under her control.)

If your family has a similar pecking-order, and you're the only daughter, that might explain part of why they gang up on you.

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Lilly
I would go to the police station and see if they'll give you a police escort to get your stuff at your parents and your brothers house. This way, no one is in the middle and they will have no choice but to hand it over ;-)

Best of luck to you.

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I am the only daughter.

There are three children, My older Brother, me, and then my younger brother.

I have absoloutely no status in the family pecking order. But i am the most successful out of all three of the children.

I have never asked my mother since i was 14 and worked part time during high shool at McDonald's. I have put myself through university working part time jobs and paying my own rent. I have got really good marks the whole through, but any chance my family can tear me down they will.

My older brother is hopeless, but he has also been diagnosed with Dexlexia (think thats how you spell it) so many parents feel that he finds it hard to get by. But the guy has been fired from every job he has ever had. He moved into the middle of sydney into a $600per week apartment, Then he was unemployed for six months still living there...

My grandmother told me to accept my parents help to get out of the apartment and the relationship i was just in. The only "help" they gave me was to stay at their place for a week.

They expected me to help my brother, paying half his current rent, and to live with him, buying ALL the groceries, cooking and cleaning for him etc etc

My mother went ballistic at me when i called her after the fight with my dad and brother and said i was a liar, i didnt tell any lies, i think she meant tha i was still seeing my ex, which is not true. I had one dinner with him!! But how many lies has she told me? how many lies has my brother told? One dinner and I am never to call the family again!!

Dad said they will never help me again, but they never have helped me ever. I can stand on my own two feet, i actually enjoyed my life without them in it, they dont give me money, they dont help me out, so i dont understand what my father was trying to say...

My life is better without them in it. and I dont feel bad or persecuted for doing what i want to do. They are punnishing me now by withholding my property

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Just got off the phone from the Police.

They are reluctant to escort me there to get my things as its a low priority for them, they told me to get a third party there, and if it gets out of hand, tell them i have already spoken to the police and they will come to make sure there isnt a breach of the peace.

So thats how i am to get my things... If there is a dispute over poperty that becomes a civil matter and isnt an issue for the police.

So there you go. Looks like i have to get my friends into help, i would love one of my grandparents there, because my parents wouldnt try anything on in front of them.

What a mess, i am so sick of this...

Oh just though i would also let you know i am going to inspect a place this afternoon, its a really nice apartment in the middle of the city right by one of my faveroute parks!! Imagine how my parents would feel knowing i was lliving in something like that without having to run off and ask them for rent money in a months time!!

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is it my fault?

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