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Seven year relationship. Should I end it? Please help me .

 
 
Reply Tue 28 Jul, 2015 09:52 pm
I've been with my boyfriend since we were both 15 and have lived together since 18. We've spent the last seven years rarely going a day apart, besides the only time we ever broke up which was for 3 months two years ago but we still talked everyday. Ever since then and even before then I have this gut feeling that I need to go out and explore and that were not meant to be. Which is crazy because the first few year we were together I would swear we were soulmates and never imagined loving someone so much and he felt the same.What makes this feeling so confusing is that he's a great guy and loves me more than anything and I do love him too. I'm just not in love with him anymore and haven't been the past few years. Although from time to time I will feel grateful to have him and content on being with him for the rest of my life but never overwhelmed with excitement-- that glimmer of doubt is present always and sometimes unbearable. Last weekend we went out to the bar and I saw my neighbor. I was too drunk to realize what I was doing and before I knew it my boyfriend left me there because I was flirting with my neighbor who ended up driving me home but not before we hung out for an hour. I didn't hook up with him or cheat on my boyfriend but I'm still shocked at my actions especially when I was with my boyfriend there, I definitely attribute a lot of it to the drinking but I knows it a result of the feeling of doubt and curiously of other people that won't go away. I do have some issues with my boyfriend that aren't good reasons to break up for example he's not spontaneous he's content laying on the couch all day, I want to travel and explore and want him to take action towards that. I desperately need to move out of my house with my dad where we both live but he doesn't save any money or make any effort towards it although he says he wants the same... It's just little things like that and it's driving me insane. I'm so nervous to leave him and worry he will find someone better and I will then realize I made a huge mistake but it'll be too late. I'm so confused and I know that no one can make the final decision for me, but I'd like any sort of advice from your own personal life experiences.
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 394 • Replies: 4
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2015 04:26 am
@Confusedgirlx3,
You need to get out. He needs to grow up.

You are right that you are missing out on the world.

I suggest the two of you take a break. And I mean a real break, not calling every single day. You have been joined at the hip during your formative years, and this seems to happen in situations like yours. Someone, inevitably, turns dissatisfied.

In the meantime, he also needs to learn how to be adult and responsible, which means working, saving money, and doing adult things like paying bills and making sure the place is clean, and perhaps furthering his education in order to improve his future.

You need not be broken up forever. And you exploring the world does not automatically turn you sluttish. But if you kissed another man or even slept with him, or went to Paris or LA and decided you preferred it there, or you were inspired by the paintings at the Prado or the National Gallery and decided to chuck your current job and become an artist, the world would not end.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2015 06:09 am
"he's not spontaneous he's content laying on the couch all day,"

WARNING: this does not get better as time goes by.

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Confusedgirlx3
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2015 10:16 am
@Confusedgirlx3,
I feel that I must add, he does work. He's a police officer part time and needs full time or he will have to do the academy all over again which he has been making no effort to apply places but he's not a complete bum.
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bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2015 10:51 am
@Confusedgirlx3,
It sounds like you know your mind and it seems you've considers you wors and thoughts well. You need to make a plan before anything complicates your life further. Good luck in your life, you strike me as having uncommonly good sense and seem to know yourself well.
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