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Mon 6 Jul, 2015 05:21 pm
I feel like I lost all faith in love. So here's my story. I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years , i was so in love , we spent everyday together ,he was my first, i really loved him , and i thought i was the only one for him too, but it turned out that i wasn't. I found out he cheated on me once , and I couldn't get over that. it's been 4 years that we broke up now, but I still can't seem to fall in love. I'm not one of those jealous girlfriends. I just don't care. I liked few of the guys but i change my mind a lot. Now i'm in a relationship with a guy I had a crush for a long time, and I thought that that crush could turn into love, but now i don't feel like i have to see him, i don't miss him, i don't want to kiss him. It's like my emotions are on OFF. I want to love him, and I really do but i just can't . If he cheated on me I wouldn't mind, if he left me i wouldn't cry. I look at other guys, and I don't see other girls doing that. I dream about others, i think about others , but again nothing serious . I feel awful . I want to love, but i feel like i'm supposed to be alone, like i deserve it . I feel like love does not exist , i feel it's a delusion that can just hurt me. It doesn't last , and I don't want to be a fool, but then again why do I try so hard to love again ?
What do you think , is love a real thing ?
@aga1807,
I think you're depressed, at least a little. One sign of depression is a feeling that things are pointless.
Note: I am not a doctor.
I would suggest, though, getting a medical workup and possibly a referral to a mental health professional. Tell them what you wrote here, and see about exploring why this is still bothering you so much, and also why you're staying with men who you do not care for.
I agree. You seem to be "flat" emotionally.
Does ANYTHING perk you up or is it just men that seem to drag you down?
@PUNKEY,
I've always had trouble expressing emotions, or having emotions at all , I just hate that it effects other people now. I'm not in position to see a mental health professional . I wish I could, but in my country it's not common thing to do and my family would never let me.
@jespah,
Sometimes I do feel depressed , or what people call depressed, but I don't want to tell anyone about it because here, in my country, depression is not a thing. I mean , when I was younger I had a friend who cut herself, everybody found out and she was sent to a hospital. I still remember that I understood her , but my fathers comment was that he would smack stupidity out of her head.
Here depression is not considered an illness , it's something you make up.
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