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Mon 6 Jul, 2015 05:07 pm
He's too liberated, I'm a bit conservative yet we're best friends. But though I hate men like him, I fell for him and it's not a good idea!
I am a 19 yr. old female and I'm attending college now. I have a guy friend whom I liked before (I mean years ago) and fortunately been my friend just 3 months ago. During the first and second month, we're really really close. We talk, text, and hang out a lot. We're both a 'touchy' person (just a bit), I mean, I sometimes hold his arms and he sometimes wrap it around my neck during conversations. Until such time, I was unaware that I'm starting to like him again. (But of course! Although I seem falling for him again, I don't show it because it will ruin our friendship.)
One day, he shared to me that he has a girlfriend ("on and off" long distance relationship). Hello! I knew it already! That's the reason why I unliked him before!
But thanks to this friendship thing, my feelings starts to grow again (and I'm falling hard this time) and it's torturing me. But I'm working on it! And I have no plans of telling him about this stupid feelings of mine!
What I hate the most about him is, he flirts with girls in front of me and he always talk about pretty girls. Yes! He's that open to me that he even talk and enumerated the girls he had sex with which pisses me off because he knows that I don't want to talk about it.
Now, here's my problem and it's freaking me out because we're totally the opposite now! From bestfriends to strangers!
He doesn't reply nor text to me anymore, if so, it's just an answer to my urgent questions or emergency texts. Then, I rarely see him around! Yeah, we cross paths but he will just flash a smile or say 'hey dude!' and no more after that. He "seems" avoiding me these past few weeks! And it all started few days after he asked me out for a dinner when his girlfriend suddenly called and the 'call thing' happened again the next day, during him, his mother and I had lunch together (actually, it was the first time I met his mother and it's due to his days of persistence for me to do so). After that, I can feel a gap between us.
So, what's wrong with him or us?
Is he avoiding me? If so, why? Did I do something wrong?
Do I need to avoid him too? What will I do?
I don't want to talk to him about this because I'm not sure if this is really a problem. And I don't want my confrontation lead to my confession because I don't want to be hurt (I'm completely aware he doesn't like me even a single bit because according to what he implies to his stories, I'm completely the opposite of his ideal girl)
@keroppi,
I suspect he's worried that he might be tempted to cheat on his girlfriend with you. Or she gave him an ultimatum.
He's in that shallow and narcissistic stage and doesn't value your friendship enough.
Let him go.
He might come back to you when he's grown up some.
Why the persistence about meeting his mother?
Are you being a "cover" for someone else? Sure this "girlfriend" is really a girl?
Time to have a good discussion with him. Be truthful about how you feel. What he does with that information is up to him. After how long you have known him, he owes you honesty.
@PUNKEY,
I don't know why he always insists me to meet his mother. Actually, he also insists about meeting my parents, even my grandmother too because he wants me to introduce him as my bestfriend but I never gave him a chance. It's because my family is very very conservative.
Yup. I'm sure his 'girlfriend' is really a girl because he showed me a picture of her. And. .he also gave my phone number to his gf (without even asking for my permission) which puzzles me because I think it's unnecessary.
@panzade,
Okay :-) . I will let him go from now on.
Maybe you're right, he doesn't value our friendship that much :-( but that's fine, I understand, we've been friends just months ago and our friendship is not that deep yet :-).
@jespah,
I don't think it's about being tempted to cheat on his girlfriend because of me (again, I'm an opposite of his gf/ideal girl). But maybe you're right about the ultimatum :-(.
And I guess I have to accept the fact that he met his girlfriend first before me, and he prioritizes his girlfriend than his bestfriend :-)
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