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Can I use periods instead of commas?

 
 
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 01:47 am
Can I use periods in place of commas in this statement? I really want to emphasize "one person, me, nobody cares" so I used periods. Is that allowed? If not please help me rewrite it.

They say government is supposed to work for the people but yet when it comes to working in it's purest form. Government serving it's most basic function. One person. Me. Nobody cares.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 544 • Replies: 6
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dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 08:48 am
@joshrosen3,
Josh, I'm not entirely sure I understand it. Even so, I'd've writ


They say government is supposed to work for the people; yet when it comes to working in its purest form, serving it's most basic function: One person. Me. Nobody else.
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FBM
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 09:09 am
@joshrosen3,
joshrosen3 wrote:

Can I use periods in place of commas in this statement? I really want to emphasize "one person, me, nobody cares" so I used periods. Is that allowed? If not please help me rewrite it.

They say government is supposed to work for the people but yet when it comes to working in it's purest form. Government serving it's most basic function. One person. Me. Nobody cares.



They say government is supposed to work for the people, but yet when it comes to working in its purest form, the government is serving its most basic function. One person. Me. Nobody cares.

But I still wouldn't say that that's perfectly fluent. Some context is lacking.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 09:15 am
@FBM,
Fbm I concede yours better than mine
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Tes yeux noirs
 
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Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 11:23 am
Has nobody spotted the problem here? Some have repeated it.
Quote:
Government serving it's most basic function.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 11:25 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
Tes, guilty as charged
roger
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 03:32 pm
@dalehileman,
I think most have addressed the questions as asked, rather than a general editing.
0 Replies
 
 

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