@CalamityJane,
Spendi drove me crazy, of course, and I probably ranted at him in as scintillatingly a manner as I could, once in a while, failing to make a dent. Or just yelled at him. Somewhere in there we might have had some non loaded comments.
He did pm me once, would that I had saved it to some file, that he liked me, regarded me well (not his words, as I forget them, but remember the intent, and it was unusually, for him, straightforward).
I guess that all that time I took his damsel (etc) commentary as put on but stilll wasn't clear that it was.
Come back, Spendi, and explain..
I don't wish him a lingering death. I'll fantasize he is in rehab and about to talk to us.