Serious Catfish problem!!!

I dont really have a question; its more of a problem and was wondering if I could get help. Please only serious answers. I catfished one of my friends about 2 years ago, its a long story but, eventually I told them it was all catfish after 8 months. I kinda begged for another chance but they said no, since they thought I might lie again. I told them I wouldn't. I wrote something today that I think I should have said within the first few weeks. Here it is.

"Hey, I need to talk to you to about something important. Now that since were dating, There’s something I need to tell you. At the same time I’m scared cause I don’t want you to leave or abandon me. I know its only been a few weeks and this has been the best relationship I’ve been in so I thought I might as well tell you now. Its not completely disturbing or shocking, I just don’t want you to leave me from what I’m about to say. If I told you we’ve actually known each other for a few years and been friends for awhile, and if I told you it’s not me it in the pics I’ve sent would you still wanna be with me? The whole personality is still me, just a different name and picture. The only reason why I did this was because you said you weren’t attracted to me as the real me; I was less shy talking to you this way."

Till this day I never told them who I really was. I know I should, but at the same time this person is someone that holds HUGE grudges for the longest time. I want to tell the truth, but if i do, ill never hear the end of it, I don't wanna ruin anything and have this go to waste :/