"I was reading and found this fantastic study that says that people who work with dumb people are more likely to have heart attacks. That's true, if you work with stupid people you're more likely to have a heart attack. When I read this all I could think about was - poor Dick Cheney."
"A priest in Las Vegas has pleaded guilty to lewdness with five teenage boys. What is considered "lewdness" in Las Vegas? Apparently the priest broke the cardinal rule - Never hit on 17."
"A group of Arab countries are now asking Saddam to step down as president of Iraq. Apparently they are upset with comments he made at Strom Thurmond's birthday party."