Husband lied and cheated need advice

Insist on a joint visit to his counselor. Find out what's going on and be sure there are no "secrets" along the path of his therapy.

He needs counseling. He also needs to be put on a rather short financial leash. You are going to have to be the grownup here. That means taking command of the finances, having his checks directly deposited if they aren't already, and he gets an allowance for his necessaries (e. g. lunch money, gas money, that sort of thing) and nothing else.

Are you treating him like a child then? You'd better believe you are, and I am advocating for that. He is a big boy, but that kind of gambling destroys families and you need to protect yourself and your children's futures. If he balks about this, you might need to go to the nuclear option. I'm serious. He could gamble you into homelessness, and that ****'s gotta stop yesterday.

Sorry to disagree but no..you don't. He has a poor relationship with himself right now. He's not being honest with anyone.
This is more proof that your relationship is not where it should be or what you think it is. He is being horribly self-destructive, not to mention threatening to the security and finances of the family.

Counseling might help this out... only if he's willing to go and make the changes needed.