Ante up Soz, tells about your EG . . .
Well, there's this guy I know; tall, good-lookin'. Blue eyes, an impressive jaw. He has this alpha male aura about him that people often react to strongly; love him, hate him. He moved into the housing co-op I lived in and proceeded to clean up the dump; he completely overhauled the phone system, painted, refinished floors. Got things organized, including organizing people. ("Can you do this? Thanks. And how about if you do that, OK? Great.") A certain kind of feminist found him extremely annoying. They knew me better than him, knew that I'm not one to be trifled with or lorded over, and would take me aside and say, "Are you sure you want to be with him? Is he good to you?"
And the thing is -- yes. People react to him strongly in part because he's so transparent. He respects people or he doesn't respect people, and the people he doesn't respect figure it out but quick. And he respects me hugely, and it shows in everything he does. He asks for my advice all the time, and is sincerely appreciative of my help. He tells me what a great mom I am often (though he usually prefaces it with, "I don't say this enough"), and often thanks me for being so patient with his crazy work schedule. He is much, much better than I am at saying "Sorry, I was wrong" first when we have a disagreement.
He is incredibly generous in many ways; he has pretty much single-handedly held his department together, being the mentor for many younger people in his field while the more senior people, who are supposed to being doing that, remain aloof. And he is an effective
mentor -- he sets up talks, wrangles job interviews, as well as giving useful, practical advice. He has a very wide and very deep network of friends; we have standing invitations and offers of places to stay from people on every continent. (Including Antarctica -- for him, anyway.)
And he's smart
. I have accepted for a while that it's not just my bias, he's seriously a big deal in his field. He is also a celebrated communicator -- while he is in high demand for conferences/ among his peers (hence his insane travel schedule -- three trips in the last two weeks), he has also done some talks for laypeople that have received raves. I think it is very likely that at some point he will become a crossover star, known not only in his field but by the general public. He will be starting as a professor in the fall, and I think that will be the start of it -- he is a natural performer/ entertainer, and I think having a regular audience, people he can get excited
about what he does, is going to lead to something.
And that's not touching on his fathering. I've been in love with him for a while now, but it all went up a notch when I saw him with my daughter. I've written a lot about that here, but one story I recently came across (I try to archive them now and then) was one where the sozlet, maybe a year ago, took us outside after dark to look for rabbits. We didn't find any, so she decided that we had to BE rabbits. The image in my mind's eye of E.G. gamely hopping away, spotlit on our driveway, without a moment's hesitation, encapsulates a lot of what I love about his parenting -- and him.
Karmic footnote: While all the above is true, he can also be a doo-doo head.