Should I delete him or ask for reasons?

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Met this guy on dating site years ago...we are both religious and need to be virgins to marry we are both in our 30's so it's rare now. Even so he seemed delighted to meet me as i was 'beautiful' and a virgin, the other girls he has met have been unattractive to him...a few years on, we never got together and he moved miles away. I deleted him from all my social media because I was heartbroken....he text me after 6 months on my old mobile (i changed my number) but i ignored it...... he has just come back into my life after 4 years of no contact through Facebook messenger and he spoke to me for 1 hour, then stopped....now he has not bothered starting a conversation with me for 2 weeks even though I'm online everyday.....why come back, re add me just to TOTALLY ignore me again?? we are both still single and I have made myself Ill again crying and not eating over him all over again!!!! Should I question his motives as to the text and re adding me....or delete him without a word again? I was hoping after 4 years away we could maybe give a relationship a go,,,,im so confused

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,341 • Replies: 12

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@NightSky00,

Dont pin any hopes on this guy, its a lose/lose situation. No more crying.

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@NightSky00,

If it were me, I would stop trying to meet these guys online and put myself out in public more by going to classes, meet-ups, and other events to find people I have things in common with.

Getting all choked up to the point you are not eating over someone you've never met and hadn't communicated with for more than 4 years seems rather over the top. How do you even know whether or not this guy is really single? He could be married and going in and out of your texting life due to demands of his family. Do yourself a favor and get off line for awhile and focus on making connections and friends locally face to face.

If you are religious, your church probably has singles events. Have you gone to any of those? Have you told other members of your church of your interest in dating so they can help match you up with someone they know? Those are good places to start.

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@Butrflynet,

We did meet in real life, we initially met online.

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@NightSky00,

Okay....my suggestion still stands.

You didn't communicate for 4 years and now you are not eating because he didn't text you as often as you expected him to.

This guy is telling you in many ways "he's just not that in to you."

I still suspect he wasn't being truthful with you regarding his being single, either that or you're a convenience for when he is between other relationships and is lonely.

Move on...

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@Butrflynet,

I cut the contact for the 4 years by leaving all social media...he had ignored me totally on all my social media accounts for 2 years...didn't like a single photo or status in all that time, he chased me via text after 6 months after I deleted my social media....i ignored it then 4 years later I was on social media again....he requested me...spoke for 1 hour..now ignores me.............So confused

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@NightSky00,

If you don't like the way he is treating you, why are you so torn up about it?

If you don't like the way he is treating you, move on. He isn't worth the angst.

If you think he is worth the angst, then communicate your expectations to him as to how and how frequently you expect to have contact with him via social media and face to face.

You are in charge. Set your expectations and expect him to live up to them within reason. If he doesn't, again, he is telling you he is not that in to you and doesn't value the connection for anything but a casual poke on social media.

He can't read your mind. If you aren't telling him what you expect of him, how is he supposed to know? If you were telling him you wouldn't need to try to read his mind as to what he is feeling toward you. Communicate to him what you want, and judge his actions in response to that.

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I saw your post before you deleted it. I'm sorry you are so hurt by this person. Maybe it is time for some counseling to help you get things focused and figure out the answers. It will help you know what next steps to make.

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@Butrflynet,

Thank you for taking the time to give your advice to me.

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@Butrflynet,

Hey, my comments got deleted, too. That hasn't happened (that I know of) before - not that I said anything earthshaking.

Wait, wait! I just looked into the mirror..and I have no reflection now.

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@Ragman,

Thank you for your advice also Ragman I deleted the wrong post before. I'm new to this site not much else people can say on my question now. It's up to me to work through it now.

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@Ragman,

I think there were three threads on the same thing and the latest is the one that stayed.

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@NightSky00,

NightSky, use your My Topics (click on it, it's in the lighter blue line at the top of the page) in order to follow your threads.

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Should I delete him or ask for reasons?

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