I do have to say, I thought it was odd someone felt it was "considerate" of him to want to hang out in my house alone while his wife and I went out to dinner.
that was me
you made it clear you didn't want to spend time with him when you were going out with your friend - so, yes, it was considerate of him to offer to bow out of the meal. Your discomfort with leaving him in your home is a separate issue.
You can't have it both ways. You can't not have him at dinner AND not leave him in your house if he's staying at your house.
You might be best off simply not inviting either of them in the future.
It can't be easy for your friend trying to balance your uneasiness with/dislike of her husband with her newlywed status.
My grandmothers would have told her to leave you behind as both of them felt spouses came first. Before children, before other family, definitely before friends.