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Sequels We'd Like to See

 
 
Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jul, 2004 11:24 am
"Terminator IV: The Governator"

Ahnold returns to the screen in girlie-man drag and performs a lap dance for each Democrat until they are arowsed. They pass a budget that will include re-financing Planet Hollywood.
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Paaskynen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Jul, 2004 05:58 am
What about The Day after the Day after Tomorrow:

Huge mayhem ensues as the climate heats up incredibly and ends ice age within a day. Hapless teens grilled when trying to sunbathe. New York destroyed once again, this time by receding flood waters. Frozen Zoo animals miraculously revived by ultraviolet rays break out to hunt down not yet crispy heroes of the story and in the grand finale what remains of the statue of liberty is accidentally blown up by Dutch tourists (as in Flodder in America) Laughing
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Jul, 2004 08:38 am
There ya go. No one will be seated during the compelling marshmallow roasting scene.

She's Gotta Have it all, but she hate me

Spike Lee's done it again as a beautiful woman with three boyfriends informs them that suddenly she is a lesbian but wants to have a child. Mayhem ensues as her three suitors bicker over Thanksgiving dinner and alternative uses for a turkey baster. Rated PG-13.

Hated it!
Hated it! - Men on Film (thank you, In Living Color)
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Jul, 2004 10:17 am
Bio-dome II: The Conversion

Stephen Baldwin is now a born-again Christian, Pauly Shore is bald. In an effort to save the world, Baldwin starts a ministry, and Shore just provides cheap-ass pseudo-comic relief. Doomed to be as bad as the original.
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Jul, 2004 10:21 am
"The Munchurian Candidate"

There's something eerie going on in the latest campaign for President. The Major of Munchkinland is running for Vice President and nobody is aware there is something strange about him. Try that he's a Munchkin you idiots!

Ebert: This is a unnecessary sequel which is really from the land of Oz.

Roeper: Brings a new meaning to the term "small fry."

Hannity: Insinuates that there's a small fry in the White House who's programmed to think small and his advisors are all flying monkeys.

Colmes: I love it when the Wicked Witch flies over the White House and skywrites "Surrender Bush."
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Aug, 2004 03:00 pm
Fight Club 2
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panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Aug, 2004 03:05 pm
I was thinking more on the lines of: Fight Club 17

"Geezers sit around in wheelchairs insulting each other."
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Aug, 2004 06:15 pm
The Hot Rock 2

Robert Redford and co. (including Moses Gunn) are done with Afghanistan Banana Stand and have moved onto Iraq Plaque.

Ebert: Why was Stephen Tyler in the elevator hypnosis scene?
Roeper: That was the music video from the soundtrack!
Ebert: Oh.
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panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Aug, 2004 06:21 pm
Laughing
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Aug, 2004 09:12 am
Laughing That gives a whole new meaning to heist!

The Village II: The Pillage

M. Day Schlamieliman's sequel in the spirit (sic) of the four offerings in his "what the Hell happened" movies moves once again Into the Woods where they find Bernadette Peters as a witch and Ray Bradbury making out beneath a tree.

Ebert: It telegraphed the "secret" ending in the opening credits.

Roeper: Bradbury couldn't wait to unlock lips and declare once again that someone had stolen the title from "Village of the Damned."
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Rosslyn
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 01:09 pm
The Hobbit! But that's a prequel. Hmm...

The Matrix Recoded perhaps. yep.
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panzade
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 01:15 pm
Motorcycle Diaries II- Che Guevara conspires with Raul Castro to break the Honda50 embargo the US has initiated on Cuba
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 01:25 pm
I like it, panzade, and Rosslyn's, too (but you need to add a silly scenario for the movie featuring all the characters embarassing themselves in a fourth sequel considering I know they will find a way...)
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Rosslyn
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 01:55 pm
Lightwizard wrote:
but you need to add a silly scenario for the movie featuring all the characters embarassing themselves in a fourth sequel considering I know they will find a way...


Er does this comment go towards panzade's suggestion or mine?
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 05:25 pm
Panzade already offered a one line silly synopsis (although with some of the concept movies, these really don't always sound that silly).

These aren't meant as serious sequels but a lampoon on Hollywood sequels (Jespah is the originator of the thread but I got the picture, like we did with "Passion of the Christ" which we lamponed to death...)
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2004 05:33 pm
Like..

"The Smashin' of the Christ"

Mel rethinks the story (like he didn't do it in the first place) and borrows from James Cameron and "The Terminator." The story is actually about the person and at the brief end of the movie Christ is lured into a giant press with some Kosher food and smashed.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:17 am
Holy Roller Boogie - the Passion on wheels, with Linda Blair as Mary Magdalene.

Do the hustle, indeed.
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Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:28 am
Laughing That's really spinnin' the Bible!
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Paaskynen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2004 02:52 am
Ehm how about The Fashion of the Christ, a mocumentary about the popular appeal of wearing bloodsoaked torn rags. Twisted Evil
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2004 04:54 am
The Magdalene Sisters II: Sister Act

The abused girls decide that rather than try to run away from the nuns, teaching them to be a hot gospel band would be better, and perhaps they would avoid the beatings. Queen Latifah makes a cameo as the nun with the hair clippers, and mugs for the camera saying "Barbershop II, I'll barbershop you!"
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