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Does my married boss like me?

 
 
Reply Mon 11 May, 2015 11:39 pm
I started my job in January and not until April did things start happening. He's Japanese and 22 years older than I am. He's very polite and gets along with people well. After he finds out that I'm a runner who runs 10 miles a day and loves to be active he keeps wanting to work out with me. He adds me on Facebook and uses the messenger there to contact me. I couldn't refuse so I went three times. The first time we ran at the park and only talked about fitness and accomplishments. The next day at work he invites me to lunch with two other coworkers in the office for the first time. He offers to pay for everyone as a welcoming lunch for me(after working three months). The office usually does the Dutch pay rule. He keeps messaging me about working out and tries to persuade me to do cycling. So the second time, we went out for a ride. He fixed the bike up for my height and brought it to the park so I can ride. I flew off on the second lap and dislocated my shoulder. He was dusting dirt off my hip/butt area which was intimidating. He offered to drive me home but I said I could go by myself even in intense pain. The next day I went to the doctor and found out that my shoulder was dislocated. He messaged me if I was okay and I told him what happened. He felt so bad and apologized even when it wasn't his fault. He offered me a ride to work in the morning which I couldn't refuse because I couldn't drive and no body else could take me. We talked about work on the way. Since I was injured I couldn't run for a couple of days but I recovered fast enough to start the next week. Then we went out for our third run. This one ended up being a competitive one towards the end. He complimented on how it's hard to find someone that could run fast and for long duration. He asked me to enter in marathons with him which I said I will. At work we have a snack area next to my desk and ever since I started working he would come and deliberately talk to me and offer me food. Ever since April, he's been giving me a gps watch, magazines for cycling, and notes to meet up to work out. He compliments on how pretty I look from time to time. I've been getting ankle injuries lately and he constantly asks how I am. I see him looking at me from time to time during work. I'm married and in my twenties. He's married with kids and in his forties. He's good looking but a little too skinny. I've received a lot of attention for my looks and used to model in my teens. I didn't know he was married and had kids until yesterday when talking to him via text. We text everyday about sports, hobbies, work and what we're doing. He gives me extra attention at work that seems noticeable at work. He messages me on his business trips and checks on me if everything's okay. A trail marathon came up and it's out of town so we have to be there the day before. He says we can stay at a near by hotel and he'll book two rooms. I asked if his wife's okay with this and he says there's no problem. I said I'll talk to my husband about it. I have a couple of days to reply before the deadline to the race. I'm not sure if he has feelings for me. If he does I would like to avoid the situation but a part of me wants to go and see what happens. I won't comply with any advancements made but I want to know if he has feelings for me. Woman instinct says he may but I just can't be sure. What do you all think? Thank you for the help!
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Tue 12 May, 2015 01:31 am
@Starfish07,
Come on as a guy for all my life I do not need "Woman instinct" to know he is interested in you.

As a matter of fact very interested in you.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 May, 2015 05:53 am
@Starfish07,
He's interested.

You're not helping by being so damned compliant with everything.

There are plenty of places where you could have halted this or at least slowed it down.

E. g. why agree to run marathons with him? A polite, thanks, but I don't have the time to commit to training would have been fine. In fact, you can even say that now. Sorry, but I wasn't able to put in the intense training needed for a marathon. Have fun without me!

Next time he offers a ride, don't go. Ask your husband to drive you, get a friend, take the bus, call a cab! Just because you work for the guy does not mean that you need to say yes to every single thing that he proposes.

Speaking of all of this, he has been overstepping his bounds with the texting, etc. This has gone on long enough. Unfortunately, you are in a subordinate position. But you're going to have to be the one to stop it. You are going to have to be a lot less available, for everything from running to being next to the snack area and accepting his snack gifts (Sorry, I'm going gluten-free).

You might want to look for another job. Seriously. This sort of stuff rarely ends well.

PS I am operating under the assumption that the attentions are unwelcome and you don't want to sleep with the guy. If you do, still look for another job. Because when it ends (and it always does), you'll find yourself on the unemployment line anyway.
0 Replies
 
Jeedd
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 May, 2015 11:48 am
Definitely interested. Congratulations?..
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Wed 13 May, 2015 06:06 am
Let us know what your husband thinks of you going on a trip with a married man.

0 Replies
 
Starfish07
 
  0  
Reply Sat 16 May, 2015 11:09 am
@Starfish07,
After a few days of close attention, I think I was just going over my head. He's just a really an exercise maniac like me. We're both competitive so we work out even harder together. Other than that, he's just a friendly guy. No other advancements!
BillRM
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 17 May, 2015 03:49 pm
@Starfish07,
Quote:
I think I was just going over my head. He's just a really an exercise maniac like me


LOL..........
0 Replies
 
 

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