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Wed 6 May, 2015 04:48 pm
Hi,
I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. We started off having sex quite a lot, 2-3 times in one session, two times a week. Now it's dwindled down to 1-2 times week if I'm lucky and it's like a major effort on my part to get him to do it. What really hurts me is, if I go out or leave the house for a few hours he will watch porn and masturbate, even though he has a girl wanting to have sex with him and he turns it down. He told me he feels tired all the time, he feels bad about himself and he doesn't think he is in good in bed, thinks he has a small penis etc etc. Majority of the time when we do have sex, we watch porn together or if I give him a blow job, he will watch porn. The other girls and his ex, he would have sex with them 3 times a nights and 10 times in one weekend, he was younger then, so he probably had more energy, but it just hurts me so bad. Why doesn't he want to have sex with me? I try to talk him about it and he doesn't want to, I ask is it me, and he thinks I'm being stupid. He tells me he loves me and he wants to be with me forever, but then all this stuff about sex really gets to me. I don't know if I'm being stupid or selfish, but I enjoy sex and I love having sex with him. I just need advice from someone that doesn't know us and will tell me the truth
@Maryanne6,
Some of the symptoms you describe sound like depression.
Has he seen a doctor about his fatigue and other symptoms?
@Maryanne6,
He does have sex with you. Once or twice a week.
@ehBeth,
Thanks for replying.
He has gained a lot of weight since we have been together and he has some money issues. He could be depressed from that I guess.
I try to do my best to make him happy. I do a lot for him to make his life easier, I'm always nice and loving towards him, I never do anything bad to him or our relationship. I truly do love him and care about him. It just feel it's not good enough. All I want is to have a normal sex life and spend time together, and he's mostly just always tired and angry. I try to talk to him about our issues and he wants to walk away coz its easier. When we aren't fighting, everything is so great and fantastic, but when something bad is mentioned or I try to to talk about how I'm feeling, he just shuts me out.
@chai2,
Yeah I know lol he does, maybe I should have used a different title. It's just a complete effort to get him too and it always me having to start it. It's just frustrating
@ehBeth,
Seconding this. It sounds like the guy's depressed.
@ehBeth,
You don't mention your age here. Men love to do the hunting, that's their nature! You sound like you are constantly after him. Let him have space and let him pursue u and I think in time, he will do that. Sex without intimacy is dies off. There's got to be an emotional connection. If he can masturbate than he is up to it but again give him space. I also would suggest you both stop watching porn b/c it isn't real and gives a false message that people should be performing like this, it's not so! Talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks. All the best (smile).
One year?
Get out.
Sorry to be so blunt, but this guy sounds like he has big ISSUES and unless you are a therapist who can write prescriptions, then you can't help him.
Isn't the fact that you are SO unhappy motivation enough for him to get some professional help? You mean he's going to sit there (and eat and watch porn) and that's it. Bet it is.
Again - sorry to be so blunt but you are young and should not be going through all this with a man.
Find an emotionally stable man who is concerned about YOU and his own health.
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