My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of issues, and now he says he needs a break

I apologize for this being kind of long, but I felt like a little background was necessary. I appreciate if you read everything, but if not, feel free to skip around to the main parts to answer my question.

So I'm 17 and in a private high school, and my boyfriend Michael is 18, attending a community college as a freshman. We met late last year and have been together a little over 5 months. Although because we did so much together, it definitely feels like longer. When I met him, I guess I already knew that we were very different people in terms of personality, and initially I didn't think it'd actually turn into anything. We met at work, a fast-food restaurant no less

Anyways, Michael has always had family issues, particularly with his mom who he lives with. They had a really strained relationship His dad was very abusive and left when he was younger. Michael always carried this attitude of being sort of withdrawn and "not caring" about thing in general. But when I got with him, things were actually pretty great for the most part. He was different, but made me feel special, and that was what I think drew me to him.

His mom was really strict, always wanting him home by a certain time after work, which gave us little and sometimes no time to spend together. His mom and stepdad didn't want him dating. Something to do with his previous girlfriend, and a bad breakup that left the girl crushed. So they feared the same thing would happen to me. Eventually his parents did allow him to continue seeing me, and I ended up losing my virginity to him a couple of months ago. I felt very much emotionally attached at this point, as to me, this was my first real love.

A couple weeks back, his mom and him had a big fight. She found out that he had been skipping classes at his community college, and essentially failed the semester. He insisted that he didn't want to continue to go to school anymore, and because his mom said that those were the conditions to continue living there, he packed all of his things and left. This is when everything started to fall apart.

Now I like school as much as any other teenager, but despite that, I still understand the importance of getting a good education, getting a good job, etc. I have dreams of going to college and becoming a nurse like my mother, who I had a very close relationship with growing up. So when I heard that Michael had chosen to drop out of school, it was really difficult for me to be understanding of his reasoning. -That he felt suffocated by his mother and wanted to go to school when he no longer felt "forced" to. He wanted to enjoy his freedom.

So he has been living with his friends, and jumping between there and his grandparent's home (whom he's fairly close to). He left his phone with his mom, so it's been difficult to stay in contact with him. It's resulted in me worrying day after day, all day. I've never met his friends before, and with his impulsive attitude, mixed with the anger he has toward his mom, I was afraid of something bad happening. Like death, or drugs. He assurred me not to worry about him. That everything was fine, and hey! on the bright side, we'll have all the time in the world now to spend together. For some reason this wasn't exactly reassurring to me.

In that time another bomb was dropped on me. I found out I was pregnant, and I never felt more scared in my life. We had always used condoms, so I didn't understand why this happened. I'm still not sure exactly, if there was a tear or leakage of some kind. Anyways, when I told him, he immediately insisted that I got it aborted. This broke my heart, because although I was skeptical of whether to keep it myself, because of our situation, I expected him to be a least a little supportive or comforting.

I've done a lot of thinking in terms of what could happen either way. How this could change my life forever, and all of the dreams and plans I had for myself. I told him that we needed to sit down and talk about it, and he had blown me off, saying that he had planned a night with his "boys" and didn't want to miss it. This hurt so much, but I decided not to say anything, or pick a fight over it.

I wouldn't say that Michael was completely avoiding me, because he still talked to me everyday. Things were okay between us, but it was really concerning me that he still had no intentions on going back home, or going back to school. I mentioned it a couple times, but was afraid that if I pressured him too much to shape up, he would pull away from me. He also got fired from his job for a no call/no show twice in a row. I had no idea what was going on with him, and I kept insisting that we spent a day together so we could get back on the same page. To me, he was acting different by the day, and insisted still that I was worrying to much, and it was starting to irritate him.

I've been so afraid, and hurt beyond words. But I tried everything I thought I could to keep him, and myself afloat. I feel exhausted by him, and always taking responsibility for the fallouts in our relationship, and holding my tongue when I'm upset, just to avoid conflict with him. I feel like he's been so immature, and has not appreciated how patient I've been, or how understanding I've tried to be, despite not agreeing with the choices he's made. It's been hard feeling that he hasn't been there to support me through this, and a couple days ago, I finally exploded and told him how alone I've felt in this, and how hurt I feel by him not being there. He says that he feels like everyone's been judging him, and that he can't please his family or me. He feels hurt by everyone. He also seems to think that I've been too needy ? I definitely don't think I've asked for much from him. He seems to always forget that I had a lot of pain in my life as well, growing up with an abusive alcoholic father. We ultimately broke up, and I spent the entire night crying. I haven't slept in a while. I couldn't handle how heartbroken and completely crushed I felt. I ended up messaging him the next day, and he somehow turned it to make it sound like it was MY fault/choice we broke up. And that I said words that hurt HIM. He said he still loves me. We seemed to backtrack on our decision to part ways, but he says that "after the emotional thing we just went through", he needs a break. Then later, we "can see where our hearts still lie". What does this mean ? Is this fixable?

I feel so lost, and scared. I feel so bitter towards the way things have been with him, but at the same time, I feel like I just can't let go. I truly think that I'm in love with him, and I don't know what to do at this point. If you have advice, please, help me.