Questions Game

No, I don't need drugs to dance like a raving lunatic. Mathos- I went to college at a time in the US when freedom of expression was the accepted norm, and drugs could either accompany that- or have nothing at all to do with it. It just depended on what you felt you needed. I've never been the type of person who needed drugs to feel free to express myself.

Do barefoot dancing girls turn you on or off?

Depends on the feet, I'm very particular, well lets face it there are millions of girls to pick from Aidan. If the feet are grubby or have those bunions on the toes, it's a no go, nice feet with painted nails, no hard skin and that's fine. However, I prefer a woman to dance privately for me in a nice little 'g' string and six inch stiletto heels, or thigh length black suede boots.


Which do you like to wear, boots or stilettos as described above?

Well, my first choice would be bare feet. But out of the two of those choices, I'd go for the boots.

Do you have a foot-care regime you follow?

Yes, I am extremely pedantic about hygiene all round, I think it's a good thing though. My wife is the same, but she has the fancy nail paint, she visits the chiropodist regularly, I take care of my own except when I go out east. The girls there are fantastic and it's all part of the deal, facial, shave, hair cut, manicure, pedicure, ears, eyebrows, all the lost plus a massage for about £15..00.


Have you noticed how such treatment in the UK when you can get it, costs the earth?

Well Mathos- everything in the UK costs the earth- that's just the way it is- it's an island for god's sake. Surely you're used to it by now- I got to the point about six months into my time here that I simply stopped converting pounds into dollars because it was too depressing to realize that I was paying like five or six bucks for a gallon of petrol/gas.

You are such a dandy- you get facials and manicures? What do they have to do to your ears- do you have hair growing out of them or something?

Do you tweeze your eyebrows?

Ears! No they spray a form of surgical spirits onto cotton wool buds and wipe them out, then they go deep inside with a stainless steel prong and scrape around the ear-drum, it is a very strange sensation. They remove every trace of wax without the need to syringe. Obviously if they spot an odd hair they pull it out with tweezers. Eye-brows are plucked as required and trimmed short. The shave is good too, a cut throat razor.. Oh I forgot, they also throw a facial in, a small machine sprays hot steam on your face, then they have a suction tube worked from a 240 volt motor which they suck all over your face, it removes impurities and any signs of blackheads etc.

Where have you been girl, you should know all this?

Fortunately Mathos- I have to say- I don't need all that outside intervention to keep my stray hairs and ear wax under control. My skin is naturally pretty good- I don't use drying soap on it, just gentle cleanser and moisturizer, no call for shaving- and I'm capable of tweezing and shaping my eyebrows on my own .

Do you have problems with breakouts?

I have extremely oily skin, which is great for my tan and helps me slide nicely across the female form. In winter, I do have a few 'blackheads' I suppose you would call them around my eyes, nothing more.

My wife uses all those funny things. moisturisers etc. but I use any old soap, even fairy liquid if I'm in the kitchen, she go's ape at me for that, but it never appeals to me to be fancy in choice of products.


Have you ever added up what you and most women spend in a year on waste of time beauty products?

Fairy liquid? I like that- I sometimes wash my hands with it, but i have to say, never my face.

I have no idea what women spend. I don't spend very much - dove soap, a good moisturizer- that's it.

Do you admire a minimilist attitude?

Not at all

Money once earned has categories..Save, Spend, Maintain.

My wife has worked alongside me since she was 20 years of age, so if she wants to spend a hundred quid on silly soaps, I don't mind at all.

I spend on silly things that I like and we have the right to do that.

Having said that, I don't think we spend nearly enough on ourselves, mostly the grandchildren. That's life though!


Would you begrudge spending on yourself when you have worked for it?

No, I buy what I want to buy, go where I want to go, eat what I want to eat- but that's because as you said- I worked like a trojan to put myself and my significant other through our various years of schooling to get to the point that we've gotten to and also- I'm not naturally a particularly materialistic person- so it's not an everyday occurence that I even think of wanting or buying something for myself.

I don't really care about spending money except on music, plants/flowers travel, and once in a while some pretty bauble or other.


How about you- what do you find it hard to resist spending money on (for yourself- not anyone else).

OK I have had a car change once in the last twelve years. Not bad.
I purchase several sets of quality clothes in one go and then forget about it for a year or more. Normally I buy and spend quite a bit of money on, house ,my garden and the various features. I also spend on travel once a year, but I don't think there is anything extravagant on a personal basis.


I hate shopping.

I bought my wife a birthday present for her birthday last Sunday.


How much cash do you normally have in your purse?

almost none- especially here. I just use my debit card. I carry a few pounds in case I have to pay for parking or want to buy a bottle of water or something- but that's about it.

What'd you get your wife for her birthday?

2lb of flour and a bag of sugar, wrapped up nicely though, and a nice card I found from a couple of years back. That's recycling really so it's ok.


What do you think I should have bought her?

Well that all depends on what she likes. If she's a baker- you did a good job- except for the card- you could have sprung for a new one Mathos.

What is your wife's favorite color?

I never asked her. She likes all the colours, I think blue or yellow, she likes green as well.


Women are strange creatures, I go for red because it's the Man U colour, but I also like blue, yellow, all of them really.


Do you trim your pubic hairs?

That's just sad Mathos. Even if you never asked her, I think the fact that you don't know means that you don't listen to her- because I'm sure she's told you. What's her favorite flower?

I do whatever I think needs to be done Matho- suffice it to say- I take care of myself- I'm not some old crone that walks around in stained clothes smelling like cats- okay? Draw your own conclusions.


Why are you so interested in feminine toiletry regimes?

I was just warming you up for next week! What about breakfast in Tiffaney's sometime?



A rose, lillies, daffs, tulips, she likes them all.


Do you have a car Aidan?

Yes, but what's her favorite. Mathos- you have to know these things....

Buy your wife a bouquet of lillies and roses. They are so beautiful together- lovely colors and scents- she'll be unable to resist them. I think she deserves that from you for her birthday, along with that bag of flour and sack of sugar.

I do have a car. I'll meet you for breakfast anywhere you specify. But it'll have to be within the next four or five weeks.

Why have we lived so close to each other, spoken and laughed so much, and never met each other? Don't you find that just sad?

Things in life are like that, a friend of mine has a brother who lives in the next street to him, he mentioned on Friday night when I asked him how his brother was, that he hadn't seen him for eleven years! Not even a phone call. Now I thought that eerie, they haven't had an argument or anything!

I'm not buying my wife any flowers or roses, there is a garden full of them for her! She never cuts them, if any fall in the wind, she will and take them indoors, it always seems wrong to me to cut flowers from the garden and stick them in a vase!

It's like catching birds then putting them in cages, what a disgusting state of affairs that is, make 'em a prisoner for life. Or the guy who buys a dog, then sticks it on the end of a rope or chain for ever and a day, I think it's cruel, given my way I'd tether them to the bloody chain for a couple of years and see how they liked it.

I don't rate spoiling natural beauty with collection, and that's all it is, then they end up being thrown in the dustbin.

That is typical American as well '"You have to know these things" Do you think it makes a better person or something? No way, it simply means your a subservient sod, a creep in other terms!
Come off it Aidan, that was a real Texan bullshit implication, nothing more.

What about 'Dirty Fred's on Shap," you get a cracking breakfast there?