Questions Game

I try to be as much as possible.I find that women respond to childlike behaviour.I think they feel that seriousness limits their range and leaves them with a sense of inadequacy on top of a degree of frustration.One need only have a short acquaintance with a traffic warden to see what serious adults look like.Or the politics thread.There's nothing like a dissertation on geo-politics from a bed-sit to get me howling or a lecture on sexual morality from a Presbyterian.

Did you like Benny Hill?

Yes, I did like Benny Hill very much. He was a great commedian and the Americans seemed to adore him just
as much as the English.

I don't think your childlike, more on the contrary, a bit
too serious at times. Yes, women respond to childlike behavior as their motherly instincts are awoken when dealing with men like that. But I can assure you, that feeling
doesn't last long if he happens to be her spouse.

Didn't you realize how serious you come across?

Aw shucks Cal-you're just saying that.It might be your take.Maybe I pull my punches overmuch.

I must give myself a good talking to.

You said I was shallow.

Somebody showed me Google Earth and I've been looking all round San Diego but I couldn't see you.Are you anywhere near the football stadium or Powerhouse Canyon?

If you don't believe me, ask other people. Yes, I said you're
shallow when you wouldn't talk to me, after I changed the
avatar to an old lady. Now that I know you better, I revised
my initial assumption of you.

Oh yes earth google. Unfortunately, I have an iMac and
cannot participate, but they're working on a program
for OS X. No, the stadium is downtown, I am more north
west, at the beach. Look for a cross there.

When you found it, post a picture here. Do you know
how to do it?

No.I'll find out though.There's a couple of wizards here who spend their time on really'really serious sites like Toecutters and other Zitty related splush.
Me serious.I would tell you a few of my best jokes if it wasn't that I'd get thrown off.The last thing I said before I shot off to my residential idyll was "Hey,Cal says I'm a serious person."I could still hear them laughing as I drove off.
About three nights ago a truck driver said to me-"Is there nothing sacred to you spendi" to which I replied "yeah-keeping the beer flowing."
It is quite a feat you know keeping the beer flowing.
We have about 10 choices of beer and a similar number of lagers.I don't underestimate stuff like that.But when it comes to the various strategies which are in play to try to make what is after all a depilated monkey look good I just can't help tittering.And there are so many.In fact everytime some clunker gets his or her tongue wagging you can bet your last crust it will be in the service of casting themselves into a rosy light.
Now they are serious.I have started off numerous debates with the intention of exposing the ridiculousness of a few things but it hardly ever gets even tepid before my contestants jump over the side.Would you like to hear me being unserious about restaurants or marital bliss or lerve?


What does this cross look like?

I would just like to hear you being 'unserious'. Spendi-!

How close are you looking for Jane?!! Have you googled a map or a satellite link?!

Just like a regular white cross that's mostly atop a mountain.
You'll find it, there is only one close to the beaches...

Yes please, be unserious about whatever subject you
choose. Although I still can't believe it.....

You know about marital bliss?

Try twitchometers.Some are designed much like an elastic band round a banana and some are bulbous like those rubber balls narcissists squeeze to toughen their hand and forearm muscles.You shouldn't cough when experimenting and sneezing can break the read out.And giggling produces a graph like you see on seismographs.All comedians exploit that.They provide a socially acceptable excuse for giggling.It's a bit like riding a bike with no hands.

If I was to be unserious about restaurants you would never go in one again and I can murder holidays particularly those overseas.

Take my word for it ladies-you are a lot better off with me just toying around the edges.I was accused of wimping out on an acronym and justly so.The last thing you want is spendi doing free acronyms.

Of course I know about marital bliss.My ears ache from hearing lurid descriptions of what goes on after the sky pilot has blessed the union and the confetti has been washed away.If I was a serious person I would probably spend my life going from house to house offering comfort and sympathy.

Dev-the wizards got me a globe up.So I typed in San Diego,it was the first thing I thought of, and the globe started turning and closing in until I saw what looked like a scab which on closer resolution looked more like a honey-comb and then I could see the football field with little white dots on it.Do you never get fed up of dead straight roads.Then I tried Totnes but it was a poor picture.It's very small though.I'll be looking at Manhattan tomorrow.In a few years I expect we'll be able to see the San Diegan crumpet topless on the beach but probably not bottomless.

Try James Joyce's description of Hell in Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man if you would like to see some serious unseriousness.Or Opus Pistorum.And you need a box of tissues to read Frank Harris.

Do you have libraries there or are they banned?

devriesj, I can't access the site, due to my MAC computer.
You see, you also think that spendius is too serious and
not goofy enough.

spendius, of course we have libraries here, very beautiful
ones, I might add. So have you found the cross yet?

I don't have a powerful enough computer to download google earth! It would be fun to use, though! I can only imagine how much fun our spendi- gets out of it! I think spendi- gets off far too easily on a2k by making excuses for himself - AND I believe he's pulling our collective leg about that 'twitchometer' of his as well!

I wonder if he actually would tell a joke or something he could tell in mixed company? Does he dare or will he 'wimp' out?

I haven't tried it at home.I'll look tomorrow.You could see the cars on London Bridge.The resolution varies.San Diego was fairly good.I never knew it was a suburb of LA or that it is so close to Mexico.I have a relative who has a summer home in Mexico.
She was the first girl I ever kissed.

You and dev are just trying to goad me.It won't work.You will have to read more critically.Take my last acronym for example of RODENTS.A man who scandalises is not determined.There are regiments of men aren't there.And they are attacking the fortress aren't they.They can be seen,and often are,as the enemy.The man who scandalises the target generally fails.So you see how much can slip by when underestimation is at work.If I am not satisfied with an answer I don't go with it.I pass.It may not mean much to most but it has to have meaning for me.Preferably a reasonable joke.You will never get the joke in the Uncle NORMAN one but Mailer would and I won't be explaining it.It has a Biblical source.Nancy Mitford used a nice variant on it but I very much doubt more than a select few twigged it.She describes being asked to do a Biblical reading at a family wedding and when an older male relative found out what she had chosen he led her away from the lectern.

There's libraries and then there's libraries.Do you use yours?Lola found Salammbo on Google.The whole book.I'll check if Opus is on sometime.

Do you ever go to Mexico?

dev-

We are not alone here.This is not a private party.I have to take that into account.

I know this "wimp" thing inside out.Falling for it is a sign of lack of confidence.

Twitchometers,my jesting name for an instrument I can't remember the name of,has been in use in psychology and perception labs for many years.It is fitted and monitored as various images are projected onto screens.It is mainly used for very low stimulus situations.One wouldn't need one at the Can-Can.

I have seen a glimpse in the newspapers recently of the methods used in sperm donation units.

Have you ever worked in one of those?

*That avvie is from Disney I'm told.The Incredibles or something.And I thought it was you.What a chump I am.

I used to go to Mexico a lot, but since 9/11 it has become
quite an ordeal to cross the border back into the United
States. Besides the police corruption in the mexican border towns is quite troublesome, as well as the drug cartell who
reigns very brutal without any interference, as it seems.

I've gone further down to Mexico though (flying) and it
is a beautiful country.

Methods of sperm donation? Yes I do know, but where did this come from?

I don't know.I can't remember.I don't buy newspapers but I see them in places and I glance through them.Just the headline usually or first para.if it looks interesting.I probably didn't read much of that for obvious reasons.It just came to me tonight as a suitable illustration of why the ladies' magazines don't always present a rounded picture.

There are some men in London who refuse to impregnate their wives by the usual.Movers and shakers types.I think Dominic Lawson put this out in The Spectator years ago.They used those clinics instead.The guy is not responsible then.That was the idea.I don't know if it caught on or not.Not on the NHS I shouldn't think.

In this weeks Sunday Times there's a whole article about the world's dirtiest joke.It doesn't tell the joke but it gives you the idea.Some risque comics wouldn't tell it.It even shocked them.I didn't even find it funny.If you click on ST you might be able to get it on.

Ding Ding!.

Good timekeeper aren't I?

Really? There are men out there who don't enjoy conjugal
visits? Oh well, just yesterday I read something about the Brits and.....oh never mind.

Did you know, we have THE Rolls Royce of sperm banks
right here in San Diego? Initiated by Robert Graham, who
believed that sperm of high IQ Intellectuals will produce
genius offspring.

For the nearby University of Medicine, it became quite
lucrative for high IQ medical students to up their allowance
by donating their sperm at $ 300 a pop. Graham had
claimed, sperm of Nobel laureates was available through
his firm.

SO what do you think of that?

(need to go to the groceries)

I heard it was all a big flop.

From a purely literary point of view to juxtapose a mildly denigrating jibe at the Brits with the use of Rolls Royce to express "top notch" is a bit clumsy to say the least.

I would be interested in what you have read about the Brits which caused you to mention it and not mention it all in one sweet easy sentence.It sounds like it is something both fascinating and unmentionable.

I'm very much afraid that Mr Graham is either as thick as a wedge of satisfying choccie gateau or has been having everybody on.Surely you are aware of the quality control considerations when applied to 200,000,000 seemingly similar life forms.
Woody Allen was.There's a big difference between being at the head of the phalanx after 20 years at minus 200 degrees and being there after a steamy night in the pub.Saying that Mr Graham "believed" in it is going a bit far for a nerdy scientist.Even folklore speaks of "love"children and Veblen said that the illegitimacy rate represented the triumph of the hormones over the proprieties.In about 1901 or so.Have seen some of them "Noble laureates.?

Did Mr Graham make money?That's the main thing.

($300 sounds pretty good-sheesh I could be loaded)

What are you mumbling around here?
My Rolls Royce comparison was neither clumsy nor denigrating.

The fact is, Mr. Graham made good money, and it seems
women flocked to him to get impregnated by the sperm
of a genius. You're just upset, that you blew off so
much steam for nothing at all, when you could have made
money.... And yes, we actually have several Nobel laureates here in town - Barry Sharpless (2001 in chemistry), Kary Mullis (1993 in chemistry) but unfortunately our most famous researcher Jonas Salk
never won the Nobel price. A number of researchers at the Salk Institute (near my house) are Nobel laureates though.
The institute is also from its architecture outstanding
http://www.miramesa.com/photo_bank/199_l.jpg

So much for nerdy scientists. They are all over town

Would you fill out an application at Graham's?

INTERRUPTION.

World's Dirtiest Joke.

Google.Sunday Times.Click on The Sunday Times under pic.of deputy PM.List of article heads.25th item.Click.

Also of interest to chicken eaters-Agonising life of the£2 chicken.(cockadoodledo!!!).

Google Earth is a 3D broadbander.Apple Mac no use but they say they are working on it.Anything older than 4 no good either.

Can't find "baby in a plastic cup" article.VIZ did something about the reading material provided in the sampling unit.Varied with age of donor.
Imagine what it would be for a 65 year old genius.(No don't-you're too young.)(see above).
Baywatch stills only work for first year students.Joan Collins 20-25 age range.(mental ages used).

WAKEY WAKEY!!!!

Would I apply at Graham's?

No I would not.But a $m might tempt me and if I succumbed I would be ashamed of myself and hope it was never used.With a $m on offer I suppose I could be accompanied by a couple of personally chosen facilitators.$100 apiece should fix that.Would it be taxable?

Why do you continually insist I am this and then that and then the other.Now I'm "upset".Fat chance.

If you have a town full of scientists how come they are not all under your window playing violins or singing snatches from popular arias?

Are you shy?

It's good that you haven't got an ego that surrounds the
earth atmosphere twice, otherwise one would get the
wrong ideas, wouldn't they?

Me shy? Of course I am. Besides, I am well hidden, none
of those nerdy scientists would ever make it to my window,
unless they climb up the canyon and fight off the coyotes
first. I know you're getting the wrong idea again, but
I live secluded with walls around and an entrance gate that
has a 24 hr security guard on duty.

Hard to believe when you are a country boy, eh?